


It's The Secret That You Can't Know

by butimbroken, Scribes1015



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butimbroken/pseuds/butimbroken, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribes1015/pseuds/Scribes1015
Summary: After the birth of Connor, things take an even stranger turn for Angel as he wakes up with Buffy in his bed, with neither of them having any idea how she got there.
Relationships: Angel/Buffy Summers
Comments: 19
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

His fingers dug into the softness of her thighs, it had been too long since he let himself get lost like this, too long since she had visited him in his dreams. These were his favorite kind, the ones where he was alert enough to know he was dreaming, but was still completely encaptured by everything that was happening. He was lucky, this one was so clear even her scent long ago engrained in his memory, enveloped him. 

A small grunt escaped her as he flipped them over, he could feel consciousness creeping up and trying to claim him and he hadn't seen nearly enough to let her slip away just yet. His head fell against the pillows just as her knees came to rest on either side of him, her small hands braced against his chest using him for leverage, setting her own rhythm an increase from the lazy pace he'd previously set. 

Briefly the thought of where she had learned such moves crossed his mind, but he quickly pushed those intrusive images away after briefly wondering why such worries would plague his fantasy in the first place. Thankfully he was quickly distracted by the slight bounce of her breast, reaching up the pads of his thumbs gently circled the pebbled points. He didn't mean too, but somehow he always seemed to forget just how beautiful she was, which would always leave him nearly forgetting the fact that he didn't actually need to breathe each and every time he saw her. 

He watched her teeth rake over her lip, her movements were becoming less and less steady, her breathing more ragged, she was close. She moaned his name, and in that single word he heard all of the things she didn't say. "I love you," he whispered, trailing one of his hands down her toned abdomen, sliding his thumb between her slick folds, he circled her most sensitive bundle of nerves. 

Her eyes fluttered open, locking onto his, trapping him in place with their intensity, had he been any less experienced he would have lost control and came right then. "Love you," she sighed, slightly changing the movement of her hips, instead of sliding up and down him she was now rocking back and forth, grinding against him, silently pleading with him to stop his taunting. 

Easily rolling them back over, he captured her lips as he settled back above her. Her legs trembled against his sides, she tried to lock them around him but the pace he'd set kept knocking them loose. Instead her knees squeezed against his sides, her hands locked around his neck as her nimble fingers tangled in the small hairs of his nape holding him impossibly close. 

His headboard began to rap against the wall, and something inside of him thought that they should be more quiet but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. Shifting his angle just slightly, he made sure his pelvis was rubbing against her clit with every movement. Small cries of pleasure began to leave her, and again the worry of how loud they were being crossed his mind. 

It wasn't long before he felt her tense, just before her inner walls began to flutter around him, it was most certainly the most magnificent feeling in the world. Flashes of her first time flew through his mind, there was definitely a reason he'd lost his soul, she truly was the definition of perfection. He'd only just started to piston in and out of her warmth, desperate for his own release, when he heard a sound he couldn't quite place, but couldn't quite bring himself to ignore either. 

The tiny wailing grew louder and louder piercing the fog he'd been surrounded in. Connor. Suddenly he remembered the tiny infant asleep inside the makeshift bed he'd fastened out of one of his drawers the night before. Glancing over at the tiny infant simply feet away from him, his eyes bounced back to the beauty before him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he shook his head for a moment, Connor wasn't even forty-eight hours old yet, there was no way the lack of sleep could be getting to him already. 

Fully expecting the warmth surrounding him to dissipate, he half expected to open his eyes and find himself humping the pillow, but instead he still found her, Buffy, laid so intimately beneath him. His body betraying him, he felt himself swell even further and he knew that if he didn't stop now there wouldn't be any turning back. Not that he was saving them from much at this point, he needed to figure out just what was going on. 

Summoning every ounce of strength, both mental and physical, he forced himself from her hold. Pulling his angry shaft from her hot depths he fell onto his back beside her. The look of shock and hurt on her face hadn't escaped him, but Connor was wailing, slapping a hand over his eyes he took a few unneeded breaths while he desperately tried to pull himself together. Ignoring her for just a second he turned away from her to gather the infant in his arms. 

It was then that he saw her eyes widen as reality slowly dawned on her. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before her voice finally made his name out in that small question-like way only she could ever manage. He simply nodded as he picked the small baby up and cradled him up against his shoulder. He watched her take in the unfamiliar sights around her before returning her eyes to him, seeming to only grow more confused by the second, silently answering any question he had regarding whether or not she may have come here on her own. 

"What-What's going on," she questioned, pulling the sheet up to cover her nudity. 

Mere inches separated them, and yet in that instant he felt a hundred miles away from her. Physically they had just been closer than they had in years, though unfortunately now that reality had seemed to settle for both of them, the walls each of them had constructed around their hearts seemed to shoot back up at the same time. He shook his head, "I'm not sure, I was sleeping," he tried to explain, panic started to boil up in him, surely she would never think he would take advantage of her like that. "I thought it was a dream," he added quickly, raising his voice over that of his screaming son. 

He looked at the clock, barely an hour had passed since he had finally managed to get Connor asleep and dosed off himself, there had to be something mystical going on here. Panic quickly replaced the confusion on her features, "Oh my god, your soul," she exclaimed reaching out to grasp his arm. 

"It's okay," he shook his head again, "I didn't, I mean," he swallowed, never more thankful for his inability to blush. "I didn't," he grimaced, "finish." 

Her lips formed a small oh shape, then almost as if on instinct her eyes drifted down to verify he was telling the truth. Smelling her arousal increase, he cleared his throat, "Buffy," he warned."Huh?" she barely breathed out, her eyes still locked in toward his lap. 

Angel cleared his throat again, his mind feeling endlessly foggy in the moment. His hand lightly patted the small childs' back while he tried to run through a mental check list of things he should be doing to try and get him calmed back down, all while also praying all the noise wasn't waking up the other members of his team as he wasn't ready to deal with any of them on top of the situation at hand here, and then there was the biggest elephant in the room which happened to be her sudden appearance. "Do you happen to know... how... or... why you suddenly manifested here..." he trailed off, still stunned at the fact she was not only here with him, but how exactly that had panned out. His body still felt like it was just buzzing with electricity and need. 

Her darkened eyes slowly seemed to lift from his still twitching manhood, up his bare chest, briefly glancing again at the infant held against him, then her eyes found his. She slightly shook her head, her fingers pulling the sheet tighter against her body. "T-the last thing I remember was being too tired to take the shower I'd planned on and me just crawling into bed. I hadn't even changed into some pajamas..." she said then her eyes fell from his face and started scanning the area around her. "Which... I don't even know if there's any of my clothes here..."

Carefully, Angel leaned over so that he could grab at least a tee shirt to hand her. Not that he would mind her remaining naked in his bed, he felt she might be more at ease with something on, and it might help trying to keep focus while they tried to figure out what was going on here. 

First, he needed to take care of Connor though, trying to talk over his noise or to even concentrate on anything else didn't seem to be something in the cards. "We-we will figure this out," he promised, starting to stand up. "I'm going to check his diaper real quick and maybe see if he needs another bottle or... something." Angel sighed, muttering how he should have just brought some more of the supplies up to his room. 

Buffy quickly threw the black shirt over her head and pushed it down until the material met the one of the sheet now resting around her waist and over her legs. She held her arms out and Angel paused, looking at her like she'd grown an extra head or something. "What? I can watch a baby for a few minutes while you go grab whatever, I do have a little sister you know. Just figure it might be easier to navigate doing whatever without having to carry an angry baby."

Angel blinked a couple of times, his head nowhere worried about what she assumed. It hit him hard and fast that he was going to have to explain Connor to her. That had been plaguing him off and on the past few days, at some point it was going to have to be a hard conversation between them, but it hadn't been on the forefront then. 

"Right," he finally whispered, taking a step closer to her. He felt like it was an out of body experience as he handed his son over to the only woman he had ever loved in his hundreds of years of roaming this planet. He couldn't help but take in how perfectly Connor seemed to cradle into her arms, or how she easily smiled down at the small child, or how all the fussing seemed to cease as soon as they were together. 

"Well, look at that," Buffy puffed, her smile growing. "Kids don't usually take to me so heyyy."

Angel watched the two of them a few more moments before forcing himself to pull away, reminding himself he needed to go grab some more supplies from downstairs. Before finally crashing earlier, he had thought he needed to grab some more diapers for the little changing station he'd set up and maybe some bottles with water and a can of the formula... but he was just too exhausted to make that trip at the time. 

And hell, he'd only thought things were turned on its head as much as it would be possible at the time... the arrival of Connor already freaking him out and having to adjust to the arrival.

OoOoO

"Everything okay in here?" Angel's voice came before she even spotted him coming back in the doorway, his arms full of a little bit of everything it seemed. This sure wasn't an image she ever expected to see and still had no idea what was going on but she nodded, her face falling back down to look at the baby. He made a few little sounds and she felt her face twisting back up into a large smile. "We've just been busy chatting up a storm together," she joked, and would have swore the newborn smiled back at her, in with the joke."I do think he's tired though, thought he was about to drift off but then I guess he heard you."

She watched out of the corner of her eye as Angel quickly set everything up off to the side. "He wasn't fussing anymore?" 

"Nope," she shrugged. 

When Angel was done, she tried to give the newborn back to him but as soon as her hands left him, Connor as she would learn, started screaming again. Angel checked to see if he needed a diaper change, didn't, then sighed. She held her arms out again and like before it seemed like an on and off switch with the noise, Connor settled down once she was back to holding him. 

"This is a nice change of pace," she said, "Kids usually don't like me much. Dawn did alright once she was a toddler but I don't remember her overly thrilled with me being around or holding her or any of that when she was anywhere this small. Then again... those were all constructed memories so..." she trailed off. "Then again, I probably put kids off since usually they make me cringe so there's that. But you're not so bad, are you?" 

"Buffy?" 

She cuddled Connor a little closer before looking back at her ex-lover. Though, she wasn't so sure ex technically worked right now given how they had both woken up... or how she could still almost feel him inside of her, his body against hers. 

"There's something I need to tell you about Connor, possibly something I should have mentioned before I left the two of you alone like that..."

Buffy frowned, she didn't like how nervous he was acting all of a sudden, or how uneasy she suddenly felt. Her arms held more protectively around the child, unsure of where he was going with this. "Like what?" she asked. "Is he some sort of demon or something?" she hated to ask. She couldn't imagine anything evil being part of this little creature, even though she'd just met him. 

Angel shook his head, taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside her he leaned over to gently trace Connor's cheek as he handed her the bottle. Cordelia, Fred, hell even the guys had been after him these last two days to hand the little guy over. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to, or didn't trust them, he did, with everything going he had, but he only got one shot at this and there wasn't a second he wanted to miss. Buffy entering the mix shook things up more than he ever planned, but it was already obvious, little man here took after him in that regard, it appeared neither one of them could get enough of her. Plus seeing her cradling his child may have just been one of his deepest fantasies, even if he never would have admitted to it. 

He took a deep breath, Buffy kept glancing back to him, it was now or never. "He's mine," he finally managed, then clarified, "Connor's my son." 

He wasn't sure what he'd expected her reaction to be, but he certainly hadn't expected the ease at which she seemed to take the news, as though somehow she had already sensed it. Her head nodded, and to anyone else she wouldn't have looked the least bit phased by the matter, but he knew her better than anyone in this entire world. He caught that slight tense of her muscles, noticed the unshed tears accumulating behind her eyes. 

He dared to scoot in a little bit closer, lying back beside her, his arm draped across her t-shirt clad waist. Briefly he thought about just how long it'd been since they had felt this comfortable with one another. Even their meeting after she had returned from the land of the deceased hadn't been this calm, this comforting. Though he was sure the manner in which they woke up had more than a little to do with it. His mind was still reeling from that little bit of information too, it was probably a good thing Connor was here, no telling how things would have gone had he not woken him up. Still, the memory of her coming undone around him, their whispered confessions of love sat at the forefront of his mind. 

"He's Darla's," he continued, needing to explain himself even if she wasn't asking for an explanation. 

That at least garnered some sort of reaction from her, a small gasp escaped her lips as her eyes shot back to his. "How?" 

She listened quietly as he explained, with as little detail as possible, everything that had transpired between him and his sire. How some supposedly evil law firm had it out for him and brought her back, how the entire underworld along with a few crooked heads of state were after the poor babes head. It wasn't that she didn't care, it was just after all the bad decisions she'd been making lately she didn't really find herself in the position to judge anyone. Not even her demon ex who left her crushed and heart broken for the promise of a better life, one where she could have all the "normal" things like sunny picnics and children. She sighed looking back down at the tiny boy cradled against her, fate sure had one hell of a sense of humor. 

"Buffy you have to know that if I had a choice, if I had known he would come from--." 

"Don't," she shook her head, stopping him mid-sentence. "Angel, in the time since he was conceived, I lost my mom, fought a hell God, died, and was pulled out of heaven. He wouldn't have made it, Dawn probably wouldn't have either, and even with how powerful Will is these days, she barely managed to get me back, I highly doubt she could have managed a fetus too." 

It was Angel's turn to look confused, "Heaven," he repeated dumbfounded. A sudden rush of anger coursed through him, of course she had been in heaven. Thinking back, he remembered how sad, how lost she appeared when she first returned, but at the time he had just chalked it up to being pulled from hell. Remembering his own time there, he honestly thought she well adjusted considering… Now it was all making sense. 

She shifted a bit to lay Connor across her shoulder, never more thankful for the distraction she continued to rub and pat his back until she heard him burp. Terrified to look up, she kept her focus pinned on the wee one. She didn't need pity, not from him, never from him.

"Hey," he pulled her just a little closer, but didn't force her towards him. As always he knew just the right amount to push, she wished some of the others in her life might take note. "I wish you would have told me," he finally spoke after letting the silence settle around them for few minutes. 

She nodded, "I know, I just wasn't ready to deal ya know?" 

He smirked, Connor was fast asleep, his head pillowed against the curve of her breast, his little face squished just enough so that his tiny mouth drooped open. "I know the agreement was to stay away from each other Buffy, but there was a reason I never made it past Los Angeles, I'm still here. If you ever need anything all you to do is call.“

Her head finally lulled to the side to look back at him, the smallest of smirks playing across her features. "There's a reason for the whole stay away from each other thing remember," she made a point of glancing down between each of their half closed forms. "This is it." 

Angel couldn't help but chuckle himself, she definitely had him there. "Well to be fair, had you called first we probably wouldn't have ended up in such a position." 

Her mouth fell open, never in a million could you have told her she would be sitting here, holding Angel's child, while he initiated some sort of casual flirtation with her, minutes after being buried inside her. It was a dream, she'd learned the hard way that fate was never this kind. Carefully holding into Connor with one hand she moved her elbow to playfully jab at him, but he easily dodged it, using it as a distraction he touched his lips to hers again. 

Time seemed to freeze as it always did whenever he kissed her. Of course they had just delved far beyond this simple touch, but she'd been asleep, or at least she'd thought she had been. This was different, it was real, and it caused a tsunami of emotions to flood her unexpectedly. God she missed him, she missed him more than it should be physically possible to miss someone, but guilt ate at the back of her mind. Here he was sharing all of his deepest darkest secrets, and she had yet to tell him hers. 

The need for air overcoming her, she finally broke away, her eyes still squeezed tight, she blurted, "I slept with Spike." 

Buffy kept her eyes closed until the utter silence from his end grew unnaturally uncomfortable. He barely noticed her distress, his own seeming to be as fogged over as his brain at her confession, looking in her direction but not really able to focus enough right now to truly see any detail to anything, his mind conjuring up images he wished he could shut out. His mouth followed the path of his thoughts, slowly making formations to the questions of how, why, whens that flooded his brain but no sound seemed to want to fall past his lips.

He felt angry, sad, jealous, confused... he had left her to give her a better life, a chance at something real and somehow she had wound up in bed with Spike of all people? Not that he was over here with much room to judge given some of his actions of late, the proof of some of those right there in Buffy's arms. 

He stayed quiet as the feelings passed through him, waiting for them to settle enough to not lash out or do something, say something, stupid. "Spike?" he questioned. He supposed it made some things click all of a sudden, he could smell the vampire all over her but he'd also known about his new position in the Scooby Gang and in Sunnydale so hadn't thought enough about it apparently. 

Not to mention the cluster fuck of other things going on at the time he realized she was not simply a perfect conjuring in his dream.

Buffy looked down, shrugging her shoulders. "Trust me when I say all the 'How in the hell did that happen?' questions running through your mind have gone through my own a billion times over, Angel. I keep trying to come up with a good enough reason but there's not really one I can give you or myself... I can figure out bits and pieces but that's about it. It's just been hard dealing with how everything is since I died... and then returned. Everyone around me seems like they're a disaster, too. I have a hard time feeling normal... feeling anything, and Spike at least envokes feelings inside of me, even if they aren't the best kind," she told him. With a sigh, she continued to try and explain how things had played out, without giving too much detail that he knew he couldn't have handled. "And, you know, in a way I just kept thinking how he's the closest thing I have to you, to what we once were. I think that was another driving force to it all. Stupid as that may seem."

It wasn't hard for him to compare where he was not all that long ago to where she seemed to be lately, his being driven back to Darla the way he had mirrored what obviously went down between her and the Billy Idol wannabe. It made his heart ache, wondering if he had made the right decision those years ago after all when it just led them down these roads.

OoOoO

Even after coming clean about where Connor had come from and about doing dirty deeds with Spike, there was still the fact that neither of them knew how they'd gone to sleep, started to dream about one another, and wound up in bed making love like they had. Buffy blushed asking him if he had dreams like this often, to which he had smirked and admitted that it might have been awhile since one quite so graphic but she was hardly far from his mind. 

"I know what you mean," she told him. "I think I do okay now with the day to day but something about the quiet and letting everything else fade away brings you to the surface... either in my dreams or as I'm even just laying in bed trying to fall asleep my thoughts will drift back to how things used to be and how long ago all of that seems now. So much has happened, changed, since then."

Angel nodded. Sometimes he wondered if his entire time in Sunnydale had been nothing more than a dream, it both felt like he blinked and was here in LA with his whole new life, but also as if every day had been worth a years time. 

Rubbing a hand down his face, Angel wondered out loud if she could think of someone on her end of things that might be out to cause him to lose his soul by their coupling or anyone otherwise seeming like an obvious suspect who'd send her here somehow. 

Buffy tried to think of something but no one was giving her any flashing red signs about this particular course of action. "I mean... it doesn't even feel... evil-y. At least not to me."

She was right about that, her being here didn't give off any warning signals to him either but that didn't rule anything out either. 

Buffy yawned, not for the first time, and scratched at her messy hair. "Maybe my brain is just broken right now," she said with a slight laugh. "Ugh. I need to be back home but I seriously don't feel like waking anybody up and trying to figure out how to get back or worrying anyone with the need for answers right now. Hell, even the idea of trying to catch a cab or a bus or something right now feels too damn draining."

"It's not like I'm in a rush over here to get rid of you, Buffy."

"I know, but... let's not pretend like this whole thing isn't weird and extremely awkward. I mean, we were just having sex earlier and once upon a time we split up because we couldn't exactly do that. Yes, other things were involved but we can't forever pretend that that wasn't part of it. And obviously something is going on strong enough to teleport me from my bed to yours so..."

"It's not going to be any less strange if you just take off right now either, and probably harder to get to the bottom of. Maybe if this one will finally let me catch up on at least a couple hours of rest we could have clearer minds come morning and bring in some recruits to help figure this all out."

Buffy sighed, thinking it over. "Well, do you think you could find me somewhere to sleep for the night?"

"Well, it is a hotel... I don't think it'd be hard to find something that would work, though you could always-"

Buffy cut him off, shaking her head. "With how things are playing out tonight I don't think I trust myself much trying to sleep beside you."


	2. Chapter Two

Finally giving up, Angel had allowed Buffy to take Connor with her given the infant woke up every single time she tried to leave the room with ear busting shrieks. After about the tenth attempt, he gave up, knowing he could trust her he set her and Connor up in the room closest to his so at least they'd both be near. 

However, as morning finally came, he found Connor laid out between the two of them. Buffy's hand was draped protectively over the sleeping infant, while his own was wrapped securely around the sleeping blonde. As difficult as it had been to let Connor out of his sight, he'd found he could barely even manage to keep his eyes open long enough to make it back to his own bed. Still dressed in nothing more than the boxers he'd managed to slip on last night, the material did little to hide his body's reaction to its mate's close proximity. 

Closing his eyes he started to count backwards in his head with the hope that he may be able to will the condition away. However, it was a futile attempt, especially with last night's events so fresh in his mind. Opening his eyes again, he let out an audible groan, the ache in his groin reminding him of all those nights in Sunnydale so long ago when he was basically the poster child for how to survive blue balls. 

Reality closing in on her, the events from the previous night slowly came back to her, forcing her eyes open, she sucked in a breath when she was unexpectedly met by Angels dark depths. Their legs a tangled mess, she glanced down to find a snoozing Connor laid out between the two of them. She yawned, though in all honesty she couldn't remember the last time she had slept so well, "I don't suppose you have any idea how we ended up back in here?" 

Angel shook his head, he had to admit a part of him had been hoping she came back in here on her own accord. Captivated, he nearly forgot all about the tiny human between them as his hand took on a mind of its own, snaking beneath his oversized shirt to crawl along her bare skin. She was right, being in the same bed with her after everything was proving to be a whole new level of torture, though he couldn't find himself regretting it despite the heart break he knew loomed ahead of them. 

Easing her hand off Connor, she froze to the point of holding her breath when he started to squirm which caused a small chuckle to escape Angel. Luckily he seemed to settle after another minute, and as if he could sense her thoughts, Angel's hand found hers, tugging her towards him, he helped to gently guide her above him. Buffy first thing in the morning wasn't a look he'd had a privilege of becoming very accustomed to, and taking her all in he couldn't help but feel a little cheated. There was absolutely no reason for someone to wake up so beautiful. 

Settling above him, she laced their fingers together as she gently rocked against him. The evidence of his arousal twitched between them and she found herself both regretting and grateful for her decision to snag a pair of his boxers before she headed to bed. Her self control most definitely wasn't what it once was, and judging from the way his palms were cupping her breasts, neither was his. 

Having swapped their positions, he took control, arms braced on either side of her, she'd succeeded in nearly making him forget all about his sleeping son. He was going to stop, any second now he was going to pull away, find her something a little more decent to put on and they were going to go downstairs and figure this whole mess out… any second now. 

She'd nearly forgotten how intoxicating his kisses could be, how far they took her from the rest of the world. How when he touched her, nothing else seemed to matter, not demons, not the hellmouth, not her drowning finances, or kleptomaniac sister, the only thing that existed was him and her, and all she wanted to do was give in to every urge to have him all over again. Her hands resting between them, her nails raked down the smooth marble of his chest, continuing further down her finger tips began to play with the elastic of his boxers. 

His mouth on her scar, she felt shockwaves rolling through her, never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined that mark to be so sensitive. Forgetting all her inhibitions, she pushed past the barrier of his clothing to grasp his hard flesh, turning her head, she let him capture her lips once again as she began to move her hand in a lazy rhythm mimicking the way their mouths were moving against one another. 

Angel pulled back, a small sigh escaping him, danger signals were blaring within him once again, but he forcefully pushed them away. There was only so much he could take, his breaking point was fast approaching one way or another he needed to find some sort of release before he fucking exploded here. 

As soon as Buffy had managed to work his boxers down enough to free him of their confines, Connors wailing filled the room. Each of them froze for a second before Buffy burst into a fit of laughter and Angel all but collapsed on top of her. "Not even two days old and already he's a bigger cock block than Harris," Angel huffed, kissing her one more time before rolling to the side of her. 

Buffy stroked the small hairs on top her favorite new little humans head, "Tell your Daddy to hush, say, it's not my fault I'm hungry." As if he understood her the small boy grabbed her finger, and she could have almost sworn that he grinned all over again. 

Leaning back, Angel grabbed a fresh bottle, and quickly measured a couple scoops of formula into the water, screwing the nipple back on, he shook the contents and handed it back to Buffy before collapsing back behind her. Once she had got Connor settled, she glanced back over her shoulder "As much as I hate to admit it, him interrupting was probably for the best, the last thing anyone in this room needs is a surprise appearance from your alter ego." 

Angel groaned and pulled her back flush against him, he certainly wasn't in the mindset to entertain logic right now. "Why don't you point me in the direction of this one here's diapers and such, I'll get him ready, and that will give you some time to go take a shower and fix your," she grinned grinding her bottom against him, "Problem." 

His hands locked onto her hips, "I don't wanna shower," he mumbled, " _ I want  _ to be inside of you." 

A fresh wave of desire coursed through her, "I know, and I want that too," she whispered softly. "But unfortunately we don't have that luxury, and the sooner we figure this whole mess out, the sooner we can get back to not blurring all these lines." 

She was right, he knew that, and briefly he wondered when she had become the mature one between the two of them. Pressing his lips to the slope of her neck one more time, he forced himself to release her. Adjusting himself, the best he could given his current state anyhow, he quickly grabbed her a diaper and onesie for Connor before going to his closet and pulling out a pair of leggings and top for Buffy. At her questioning stare, he just shrugged, "I keep a stash of new clothes around to bribe Cordelia when she gets mad at me." 

"Cordelia," Buffy repeated, suddenly remembering that her old frenemy had closer ties to Angel these days than she did. For whatever reason, anyone outside of the three of them really hadn't crossed her mind last night - and if they had, it was only for a mere second or two in passing. 

"Yes," he answered slowly. 

"Right," she said then cleared her throat. "I-I'll make them work. Thanks," she told him with the best smile she could imagine. She didn't know why but something about the mention of Cordelia felt strange to her. It drove it home that something off had happened and they needed to get to the bottom of it, rather than simply staying in this bubble of unexplained bliss. Other people were going to have to be keyed in here. 

She sighed, thinking of the fact she probably better set off to make some phone calls here shortly to those back in Sunnydale. Maybe even trying to reach out to Giles but that was another little thing to put on the back burner for the moment. 

Part of her had kept hoping this was all still some sort of dream she'd yet to wake up from, some mirage or something. Alas, that hope was fading fast right about now.

OoOoO

Stepping from the bathroom, steam heavily following him, he nearly ran right into Cordelia and Wesley who were waiting on the other side. 

"Imagine my surprise," Cordelia started before he could blink, "when I am heading to grab myself a cup of coffee and start my day off when I suddenly hear sweet Baby Connor's agonizing wail. I can already tell you must be in the shower as I hear the water running as I get closer, just in case, just to check, just to be there to offer my services in case they are needed. And suddenly, I hear a woman's muffled voice and I feel... I feel panicked, let's say that. And I shout to Wesley, who I just barely catch out of the corner of my eye, charge forward with him running at full speed to aide me in whatever fight might be awaiting us to protect said child, and what do we find instead? What do I turn a doorknob, grateful it simply opened as there's no way I was trying to bust down any damn doors in these heels, and find on the other side?"

"Buffy?" he answered sheepishly. 

"Buffy freakin' Summers," Cordelia also answered, half a second behind him. 

"It was quite a surprise," Wes threw in, clearing his throat. 

He sighed, rubbing a hand at the back of his still damp hair. Well, I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up but it was a pretty damn big surprise for me too."

"And she goes on about how she doesn't know why she's here, how she got here..." Cordy continued, rolling her eyes. "And she's just in there with Connor.. like it's the most natural thing in the world and any of this is okay..."

Sighing again, he reached for his friends' shoulder and repeated his apologies. "Perhaps we should have alerted everyone sooner but there's nothing we can do about that now. All either of us know is we were both extremely tired when we each fell asleep, me here at the hotel and her back at her house in Sunnydale. We don't know what happened, if we started dreaming about one another, or we just happened to halfway wake in a dream-like state and then realized after awhile that we were in fact awake and things were really happening... it's all kind of a blur of lines there."

"A blur of lines? What kind of  _ lines  _ did you and Miss Slay-a-lot go and cross?"

"Buffy and I didn't...." he trailed off, not wanting to say too much details about what had happened if he could avoid it, wanting to keep those memories unharmed, untouched, and to himself if possible, "You don't have to be worried about the state of my soul," he finally landed on.

"Uh huh," she muttered, her eyes doing a one over on him real quick. "Anyway... so you  _ dreamt  _ things into reality?"

"I don't know, it doesn't really feel like that's what happened... She didn't know we weren't trapped in a dream at first either and was as confused as me. She has no idea how she got from Sunnydale to LA."

Wes looked back down the hall for a moment. "Well, I can't say for sure but I wouldn't think it was either of your twos' doing."

"Why not?" he couldn't help but ask. 

"If the two of you could miss one another and dream about each other enough to make something of this nature come to life... I am pretty sure it would have happened long before today, Angel," Wesley told him with a pointed look. 

Cordelia made a face. "That is a good point."

"But what else, who else..." he started then they all seemed to settle on the same idea at the same time. "Wolfram and Hart?"

"Maybe they realized how off base they were in all the theatrics of bringing Darla back," Cordy offered. "Which, I don't know why they even went that direction to begin with given they did know about Buffy but, hey, not really complaining as we all know things would be mighty different..."

"Wolfram and Hart is certainly placed at the top of my list of suspects, but can you think of anyone else who we should possibly look more into?"

Angel thought about it but really no one else stood out as to why they'd magically teleport or whatever happened, Buffy here. 

OoOoO

"Connor seems pretty happy that this Buffy girl is here," Gunn leaned over to tell him, everyone's eyes seemingly locked in on the young, blonde slayer and tiny human-ish child as they'd all gathered downstairs to fill the others in on what was going on and to start tossing around ideas together. 

'He isn't the only one,' Angel thought. Not having contact with her was a torture he wouldn't wish on anyone but he managed to survive out here, so close yet so far away from the only place he thought of as home. It always slammed into him with endless fury how badly he missed her when their paths did happen to cross since he had left, like he forgot what it was really like to be around her until he was again, and as much as he missed her it never really seemed to compare to how it felt when his body could sense her, his eyes land on her. 

"Whatever the case, I am sure, Buffy, that you are anxious to get back home."

"Yes," Cordy said over her shoulder, "The Hellmouth without a slayer for long usually spells nothing but trouble."

Buffy sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess."

Cordelia seemed to pick up on that little hint of sadness in Buffy's voice judging by the look on her face, but she didn't say anything. 

"Let's just see what we can come up with for now and go from there. Maybe we'll get lucky and the answer will be right there in the first book we open," she smiled cheerily. At least she hoped that was the case, Angel had enough on his plate, first Darla, then Connor, and now Buffy. Not to mention all the goons he had to literally chase away from his newborn son, the same newborn that she was absolutely dying to get her freaking hands on. 

Angel watched Cordy approach, and he was pretty sure visibly flinched as she reached for the infant who was safely snoozing in Buffy's arms. He trusted Cordy, hell, he trusted her more than just about anyone, but he still wasn't ready to share his son yet, though that would be a hard point to prove given whose arms he resided in at the moment. He knew it wasn't fair, Cordy, Wes, Gunn, even Lorne, they were his family and he knew the importance of them bonding with the little one. It was just, hell he didn't didn't know, it was Buffy, and no matter what happened or how much time had passed she would always be the center of his universe. Seeing her with his son, watching how they reacted, he couldn't help but think it was just how things were supposed to be. 

Buffy traded a weary look with Angel from across the room as Cordy reached for Connor. No matter what type of bond she'd formed with the little butterball, it wasn't her place to dictate who got to hold him or when. Still, she had to fight with every fiber of her being not to pull him away from her prying hands. 

Almost immediately the little one began to fidget, his arms stretching tight over his head, he let out a small yawn and for just a fraction of second Angel wondered if perhaps he'd been wrong. Maybe Connor didn't have some strange attachment to Buffy, perhaps he just preferred women, after all even if he wasn't aware what was going on, on some level he had to be missing his mother. 

Then the high pitched wail he'd grown so accustomed to these last couple days pierced his ears once more. Strangely something akin to relief washed through as both he and Buffy lunged for the screaming infant. Not wanting to overstep her bounds, Buffy let Angel take the baby from Cordy, but even so her hand went to the little one's back, rubbing tiny circles while Angel gently rocked him against his chest. Eventually he started to calm a bit, and Buffy could almost feel the relief cross Angel's face, she knew this whole parenting thing had to be throwing him for a loop, and from what she'd gathered Connor hadn't been giving him the easiest time. 

Her head resting against his shoulder, they stayed like that, completely oblivious to everyone else in the room until Connor had once again seemed to settle. Though he was still awake, he wasn't screaming and that would always be counted as a win in her book. "I'll get him a bottle ready," Buffy whispered softly as Wesley made a point of clearing his throat for the second time. 

OoOoO

So far they had found a whole lot of nothing, there was nothing in the books about dream teleportation, or anything of the like. Wes had run across a couple chapters on Astral projection but that was all a bust too, not only was Astral projection only possible to those with extensive training in the matter, there was only records of the projection lasting for as long as the host was asleep and clearly that wasn't the case here. 

Buffy had called home to let Willow and Dawn know the gist of what was going on, but just like Angel had done, she'd left out as many details as possible. As far as their friends were concerned they woke up curled up together in the same bed and that was that, neither of them thought any further details would really help aid in their search for answers anyways. If anything, knowing what had really happened between the two of them would just put everyone on high alert and after everything it all just seemed like extra stress that none of them needed. 

As the sun began to set, none of them were any closer to an answer, not even Willow who had started her own little research party along with Tara and Dawn. Throughout the day her and Angel had settled into a pretty good routine where Connor was concerned, both Wes, and the new guy who Angel had introduced as Gunn had given the wee one a try but he wasn't having it. So her and Angel had unknowingly come to some sort of unspoken agreement, one cradling the baby or changing diapers, as the other made and cleaned the never ending supply of bottles and all their parts. 

"I give up," Cordy sighed, tossing the latest book she'd been trying to read on top of the growing pile. "What if it was a fluke," she pouted, "Like a one time deal." 

Buffy groaned, for once she found herself agreeing with her. "Well if Angel's right, and those dog hearted ram people had something to do with it then I highly doubt we're going to find what we're looking for in any of these books anyway." Truth be told, the exhaustion was starting to wear on her, not that she would change the days events, but she was definitely going to have a whole new respect for new parents after this ordeal. 

"So what should we do," Angel asked to Buffy more than anyone else. She was sitting cross legged on the circular couch in the middle of the lobby, Connor swaddled peacefully across her lap, his tiny head cradled in the curve of her knee as though she had held him like that a thousand times. 

As much as she hated to say it she really needed to get back home. The more time she spent here, the more she started to question her place in his life and she knew her presence was throwing everyone else too. Especially Angel, things hadn't gotten too out of hand with them ever since they came downstairs thanks to the many sets of eyes that seemed to be constantly glued to their backs, but Angel was the king of discretion. More than once he'd managed to link their fingers, or sit just a little too close, all of it was innocent really, but when it came to them, nothing was innocent, not the way he looked at her, not the way she itched to reach out and trace his brow, nothing. 

"Well for starters I should probably get going, like we said, a Hellmouth without a slayer is asking for trouble." 

He wanted to object, he wanted to demand that she stay here until they figured this out, but he knew that was just him being selfish. Just as he had his own life here, she had hers back in Sunnydale, and maybe Cordy was right, maybe this was just some fluke and everything would go back to normal, and if it wasn't then they would know here in a few hours or so more than likely. If there was something bigger at play then he doubted they'd keep them waiting too long before trying to bring them back together again .And if it was a fluke, it'd be better to know now than later.

Part of him couldn't help it but hope there was something bigger at play... it was wrong, sure, but saying goodbye to Buffy was never easy. And now knowing the truth about what happened when she died, how hard adjusting to life back here on Earth now that she was back, how it'd sent her into a downward spiral resulting in bedding Spike of all people... well, he really didn't want her back there for a number of reasons. Not that she could exactly up and leave the small town behind all willy nilly either, and obviously, as always, being here with him was asking for just as much trouble as having an unguarded portal to the underworld.

Despite knowing what awaited them if they crossed those lines they'd come so close to, it was still hard to hit that big ol' pause button when she was just right there... 

OoOoO

Despite announcing she should head out hours ago, Buffy remained until it was close to turning dark outside, finding it harder and harder to actually take the steps to leave. She found herself getting caught up listening to stories, or letting Wesley use the last bit of time to throw around some more ideas and do a few tests here and there, she enjoyed getting to know the members of Angel's team and had to admit even though she and Cordy would probably never be the best of friends like, say, she was with Willow or Xander... the girl had grown, as had she, and actually being around her wasn't so bad. Perhaps it was even better than their years back in the halls of Sunnydale High. 

Of course, there was the biggest issue keeping her here... Angel and Connor. Each in their own ways, for their own reasons. 

She'd worked so hard not to be left alone too long with Angel until now, too afraid of falling apart when she had to think about going through the motions, the withdrawls she faced every time she was even around him for a moment and then had to part ways. She was able to hide it fairly well when she was around her friends or Dawn, but when she was alone she would fall apart just like the first time he left, when he faded off into the smoke back when she and her friends had graduated, when he left Sunnydale, and her, behind. It was like reliving that over and over, every single time. When he hid in the shadows back on Thanksgiving one year, when she came to confront him, the deal with Faith... 

It never seemed to get easier. 

His thumb was brushing away her tears that she couldn't seem to hold back any longer, only making it worse. His strong arms came to hold her to him, whispering his apologies and how everything would be okay, reminding them both why this was for the best... which she knew, but that didn't matter much in the moment. 

Closing her eyes, she buried her face in his chest, tears soaking into the cotton as she wished for the countless time that things could just be different for them. 

The light knock on the door had her slightly pulling away, wiping her eyes as Cordy stuck her head inside and whispered her cab had arrived. She nodded and thanked her, Cordy smiling softly before saying she would tell the driver it'd be just another few minutes to give them a little more time. 

"Any way you could just say something stupid and piss me off so I could storm out of here and not feel so bad until I'm actually back home?" she joked. 

Angel smirked, acting like he was trying to think of something to have her go off about but he finally shrugged. "Sorry, coming up empty."

Rolling her eyes, she pulled him once more. "I hate having to say goodbye to you."

"I know," he whispered back. "I do, too, Buffy."

Her eyes drifted to the sleeping infant. "Part of me hates sneaking away like this, not that I think he'll actually notice," she told him. She was hoping Connor would give Angel a little bit of peace, having used some of the tricks her mother had done with Dawn when she was little... trying to keep him awake after that little nap earlier, wearing him out some before a nice warm bath, changing him into some pajamas, rocking and feeding him, easing him into his peaceful little dreamworld. 

So far it seemed to be working anyway. 

"You should try and get some sleep here soon, no telling when he might actually wake up."

"Easier said than done... but I plan on at least trying."

OoOoO

It was about fifteen more minutes of saying tearful goodbyes a few times over before she even made it downstairs. Quickly telling Lorne, Gunn, Fred, Wesley and Cordelia goodbye once more, Angel walked her out to the yellow taxi cab and got her settled. Handing her a burner phone just in case something happened, he made her promise to at least send him some sort of message if she needed him between here and Sunnydale, and for when she got home if everything went smoothly. 

She kept her eyes glued to the historic hotel until he was completely out of her view and then she felt the heaviness really start to hit. 

Cuddling her knees up to her chest, she stared at the window, trying not to fall completely apart in front of the poor guy sitting up front. He tried to make small talk a time or two but she wasn't really interested and he finally got the hint and just drove, mile after mile. 


	3. Chapter Three

Angel stared up at the ceiling trying to force himself to drift off. On one hand his head wouldn't shut up thinking about Buffy, missing her terribly already, thinking of all the what could have beens, not enjoying the fact he didn't have an answer still to what happened between them... but he had hoped sleep would still come, distract him from it all. Connor was still peacefully sleeping a couple feet away, his eyes felt dry and itchy, his whole entire being drained. As a vampire he didn't technically need sleep but there was something to having a surprise child to take care of that certainly drained the shit out of you, member of the undead or not.

Having your ex lover show up and throw your world through a loop didn't ease that stress any either.

Sighing, he shut his eyes and gave counting some Mississippi's a chance. 

OoOoO

Buffy moaned out his name as his lips circled around her erected peak, her slender fingers tangling up in hair, dragging him closer. His tongue teased her nipple as he suckled until she was a writhing mess underneath him before switching to the other breast, paying its twin equal attention before reluctantly abandoning the both of them. Using his mouth he created a warm path down her slender stomach, her essence calling to him, his mouth watered as he settled himself between her creamy thighs. 

He'd only ever had the luxury of tasting her a handful of times, and he was fairly certain he craved the sweet nectar more than blood at this point. Even though she was far from the innocent virgin she once was, he could tell she wasn't completely comfortable and though he would never admit it, it filled him with a strange sense of pride to think that just maybe she hadn't experienced this act with anyone but him. 

She might be a bit shy, but she still made it clear what she wanted, whimpering she lifted her hips clear off the bed when he teasingly bit the inside of her thigh. "Please," she began to chant when he purposely avoided her hot center to nip at her other leg. Sliding her legs over his arm, she tried her best to draw him closer. 

He wanted to continue teasing her, to draw out every whimper, every moan, to hear her beg for release but something inside him kept whispering there wasn't time. That he shouldn't spend any of the precious minutes they had been afforded doing anything other than pleasing her. It was an odd sensation, especially for a dream, but he had learned a long time ago not to ignore his inner monologue, well unless of course it was that of the demon, he had become an expert at pretending he didn't exist. 

Finally settled against her, he closed his eyes, breathing in her scent, he couldn't help but notice how real it all seemed. Shoving all thoughts away he directed his focus back on the perfection in front of him. Her arousal permeating his senses, he slipped one long digit inside of her slick channel at the same time his lips circled her throbbing clit. 

She tried to hold on, to stay quiet, but as always she eventually lost that battle and the sounds coming from her, one of the sweetest he had ever heard, briefly caused him to wonder if it were possible to become addicted to a noise. He'd just added a second finger to her hot depths, her inner walls clenched and clamped down on him as he slowly guided them in and out of her warm depth when a familiar sound that he just couldn't place floated through his head. He tried to ignore it, to focus instead on her tight dripping body so full of need, she was so close if it weren't for his vampire senses he wouldn't have been sure she was breathing her muscles coiled so tightly. 

"Don't stop, don't stop," she chanted, beyond desperate, she wasn't sure she had ever felt anything like this, not this intense, and she was absolutely terrified that she might not survive if he took his mouth off her. Her alarm was blaring but she tried to ignore it, slamming her hand blindly off to the side she was desperate to quieten the noise. Her legs trembling, the thought had just flitted through her mind about one of the many benefits of having a boyfriend who didn't need to breathe when her fingers came into contact with what felt like a tiny hand. 

Utterly shocked her eyes snapped open to see just what it was that she'd felt and it was then that reality came crashing down around her. Connor was screaming, Angel was doing positively delectable things she hadn't even known were physically possible with his tongue, and for the longest moment she contemplated just letting him finish what he was so set on accomplishing but no matter how badly she wanted too, she just couldn't take advantage of him like that, it just didn't feel right. Not to mention Connor was gripping her finger in the way that she had come to learn meant he was hungry then and there wasn't going to be any waiting. 

"Angel," she tried, but it was barely more than a whimpered moan. 

Cursing the powers, she cleared her throat and tried one more time, this time a little more forcefully, "Angel!" 

His mouth not leaving her, his yellow eyes snapped open to meet hers, unsure of what could possibly be so important. Unable to form words, she motioned with her head towards the small bassinet he'd set up before bed. 

Bassinet. 

Bed.

Conner. 

Shit. 

His eyes slammed back shut as the memories from the previous day flooded his senses. Swallowing hard, he gave her sensitive bud one last slow lick before raising his head to meet her eyes again. A fine sheet of sweat dusted her brow, her breast, her legs shook around him with her pent up release, and had it not been for his screaming son he wasn't sure he would have had the willpower to leave her like that. Inching his fingers from inside her, he slowly climbed up her side as she tucked the sheet around her the best she could and leaned over to scoop up Connor, even her hands trembling. 

Grabbing a bottle Angel had it filled and shaked by the time Buffy was settled back against the pillows, his son in her arms. Lying his head next to hers, he watched in amazement while she got Connor eating. "Hey," he whispered, snaking one of his hands back beneath the sheet to wrap around her slim waist. 

"Hey back," she told him softly, tilting her head just enough to brush her lips across his. Knowing that under normal circumstances what she was doing was completely off limits, but after the last twenty-four hours it was scary how natural it felt. 

"Looks like our whole fluke theory was a big fat bust." 

If it were possible he pulled her even closer against him, barely even noticing his own state of undress until he felt the curve of her hip press against him. "Can't say I'm that disappointed, though I'm pretty sure if given the choice I would have gladly traded my soul to see how that ended." 

Her elbow poked his stomach, "Joking," he sighed. Though he still made no effort to move away from her, instead he wrapped one of his own hands around the one she was using to cradle Connor. "He's pretty perfect huh?" 

"He is perfect," she breathed, leaning down just a touch to kiss his forehead. "Which is exactly why we have to figure out what's going on here, as much as I love this whole waking up with you bit, we both know it will only be so long before one of us really loses control, and then…"

"Hello Angelus," Angel finished for her. 

"Exactly." 

Not for the first time Connor fell asleep nestled against her. He knew that he should offer to move him, offer to get her some clothes, to move into the next room over, but everytime he tried he found himself just holding her tighter. Besides what was the point if she was just going to end up right back here when they woke up. After looking at the clock hanging up over on the far wall, he sighed. At least that had been the longest he'd slept since the little one's arrival but it still hadn't felt like enough to get himself back to where he felt completely like himself yet. Yawning, he asked Buffy to reassure him that eventually babies do start sleeping for longer stretches at a time. And that Connor would eventually do more than rarely sleep, eat, dirty up diapers, and cry. 

"You know, I'm sure that your little band of misfits here would happily help you out more if you would actually let them. I know it probably seems overwhelming to hand your son over to even people you know so well and love, but you need a break sometimes, too, Angel. I think it'd be okay... eventually maybe... to let one of them watch the baby while you do something other than be at his beck and call, catch up on some rest, something. I mean, eventually there will come a time when you will have to go back to being you, right? And fighting off this demon and that to protect him, or any number of others..."

He grumbled at that. "Yeah, yeah. I know, I do... it's just felt like there's some sort of wall right now and it's like if I do something too soon I'm afraid everything will fall apart."

"And that's okay, too. Move at your own pace, but... know you have to move at some point. It doesn't seem like you mind me being here and sharing some of the load. Maybe that's a start."

"It's different with you," he said softly then glanced at the time once more. "I'm sure we should probably go alert the others, but at the same time I don't see how it'd do much good."

She shrugged, smiling for a moment down at Connor as he slept. "Let them sleep, maybe the well rested extra eyes can be of use come morning."

"And what about... us?"

Buffy's face tilted back slightly, her eyes slowly meeting his. "I-I don't know. I mean, it's still probably not a good idea for us to go around falling asleep beside each other in normal circumstances, let alone with how this has been playing out, and the naked at the moment bit is only going to add to that... but at the same time I feel we will probably wake up beside one another some way, somehow here shortly. So..." she trailed off with a shrug. 

His entire being, every inch in his body, seemed to ache with need, to finish what had been teasing them both since the wee hours yesterday, to reclaim her as his time and time again, to fall asleep with her just like this... but with a sigh, he finally slipped away from her, groaning at the loss of her warmth the entire time, and went about finding himself at least some boxers and loose lounge pants to wear and another few items from his Cordy stash to let her use.

It was still tempting the fates a little too much, but he curled right back up to her once they were dressed, promising her they would figure this out soon enough. 

"Mmhmm," she muttered. "For now let's just be a little more mindful of what we think are dreams though, huh?"

OoOoO

`As morning came, Wesley had them both go over what had happened both nights, where they had been, what was the last thing they remembered before falling under, what was the first thing they remembered... he went over Buffy's trip back home and how she had finally gotten that shower in, how she'd made sure Willow was doing better, talked with Dawn, and eventually got to bed... 

Both he and Buffy shared a look as his questions continued, neither wanting to share all of the details still about what was going on unless they had to. It was too intimate, it was his... and he was sure it'd only increase panic more than anything else and that they didn't need either.

Wesley rubbed at his temple, trying to piece everything together. As far as he was concerned, none of this made sense to him yet.

"Maybe we could just watch them as they sleep?" Cordy offered. "See what the hell happens for ourselves, from an outside perspective? Put Buffy off in one room with, like, Fred to keep an eye on her and Angel in another with you, Wes. Oooh, maybe we could even get some of those sleep study machine things that read brain waves or whatever?"

Buffy's eyes widened, her face paling a little and it didn't take much for him to have an idea as to why. If someone was watching them and recent history repeated itself their little secret would certainly be out, and that was more than he was sure Buffy's former watcher and the poor Winifred Burkle wanted to be part of. 

Sadly, it didn't seem like otherwise the worst idea though. Maybe one of them could see something they were unable to and get to the bottom of all of this.

OoOoO

When they managed to have a moment alone, Buffy leaned closer to him, "What exactly are we, or are they, supposed to do exactly if we suddenly go from being in separate rooms to being together, naked, doing unmentionable things in your bed together?" 

"Well, just in case it is my bed that's hexed or something I won't actually be in it-"

"Very little help on the bigger issue at hand here, Angel."

"I know, but I guess we could always tell them to wake us up the second anything happens, if we start acting weird in any way while we're out, if you suddenly go from one room to another... maybe get in front of things progressing into something more? If you have any better options you are free to speak up now..."

She sighed. "It has been awhile since I have wished for something more," she muttered back to him. 

"I could always suggest we set cameras up so no one has to actually be in the room with us..."

She swatted playfully at his shoulder. "I don't see how that is any better, Angel!"

"Oh, there's some perks that would come out of something like that," he teased. 

Blushing, she started walking back away from him. "If I didn't know better, I might think you were flirting with me," she called over her shoulder. 

"What can I say? I really have missed you."

Looking back at him once more, she shot him a pure, all Buffy smile, before walking off to see if she could help with anything.

OoOoO

The group had combed through the entire internet database that they were now pretty used to using in their day to day, book after book had been skimmed through all over again, Wes had reached out to former members of the Watcher's Council, some of the very few he felt could still be trusted, and Angel decided that before tonight he better check in with their unfriendly neighborhood law firm just in case they were the ones behind all this. 

It made him more than a little anxious to leave Connor behind, but Buffy was right, there would always be monsters to contend with, and as much as he hated to admit it, it certainly helped that he was leaving him under her care. Ever since he woke up from his nap, Connor had not wanted any part of anyone except for her, He'd even tried vamping out a few times, which usually worked to calm him but even that hadn't worked. He was just about ready to panic, sure that something must be wrong with him when Buffy appeared and scooped him right up. 

Problem was, he had yet to let her put him down. No matter how many times she tried, as soon as she would seem to get him settled his little eyes would pop open and the wailing would start all over again. Thankfully Buffy hadn't seemed to mind, but he couldn't help but feel a little guilty that she was basically being forced to play mom, but honestly he was trying not to dwell on that little bit too much. 

Those carefully drawn lines between them were becoming more blurred each second that passed. His son definitely wasn't the only one growing used to her being around, and that was something else he wasn't sure what to make of. He tried to list the myriad of reasons why he'd left Sunnydale, tried to keep reminding himself why she was so much better off without him, but shockingly enough a good handful just didn't seem to hold the weight they once had. 

For starters, he could just go right ahead and mark children right on off that list of negatives. He might not be able give her anymore, but he could give her Connor and that was something. Not to mention the fact of Dawn, and like she'd said she was the slayer and probability of her even being able to survive a pregnancy was slim. That's all they needed was for the underworld to hear about a pregnant, defenseless slayer, pushing those thoughts away, he didn't even want to imagine that nightmare. 

Also, she had tried and failed at the whole normal relationship thing, and she did have a point, she was the slayer, and carrying on a relationship with anyone remotely normal posed a laundry of problems all of its very own. He had no idea what to do, how they felt about each other wasn't even a question, he knew leaving that he would be in love with her for the rest of his very long unnatural life, but he'd hoped that given enough time she really would be able to move on, maybe chalk what they once had up to her youth or such. Though, she wasn't a young girl any longer, she had witnessed and been through more than most people would experience in their entire life, she had died twice, and yet she was still standing, sleeping with his grandchilde, but standing nonetheless. 

That was still a hard pill for him to swallow, he wasn't mad at her for it, a part of him wanted to be, wanted to shake her and demand to know how she could have done such a thing, ask her why she hadn't turned to him, but the bigger part of him understood. Even if his soul wasn't part of the equation, he more than anyone understood that dark place she must have been in, after all the evidence of his own downward spiral was in her arms. Spike however was another matter entirely, he was pretty sure if were able to sneak off to Sunnydale without getting caught he would have no problem decapitating the Billy Idol wannabe with his bare hands. 

Spike didn't love her, he wasn't capable of love for Christ's sake. Spike was obsessed, and had always gotten off by trying to one up him. Darla, Drusilla, Spike wanted everything that he had, and made no secret of it. It didn't surprise him that his jealous streak continued onto Buffy, however her being a slayer he much more expected him to try his hand at killing, not sleeping with her. Regardless, there would come a day that childe of his would have to answer for his actions, and the demon within him simply couldn't wait. 

Forcing his mind to stop conjuring images of the vampire bound and tortured, his thoughts once again circled back to all the reasons why he and Buffy staying apart was for the better. It was true, there was still no way for him to give her a so called normal life, but having her die, really die, watching her be put into the ground, thinking that he would never see her face again, well it had gone a long way in changing his perspective about certain things. 

Call it what you will, hell naivete maybe, but back then, she was in highschool, the epitome of youth, yes he knew she battled demons and vampires on a nightly basis, and logically he knew that her life was always at risk. But back then he couldn't imagine her dying, not really, she had always managed to come up with a way to defeat whatever or whoever crossed her path, himself included, and in those days maybe he did have some childlike vision of her growing old and grey. Even though he would have never admitted to it, the mayor's words had struck deep that night locked in the school. He was immortal, and she wasn't, given enough time that was sure to become a problem. However what he hadn't considered then was the lack of time they might actually have, she had tried to bring it up on more than one occasion but he'd quickly shut her down, not wanting to hear what she had to say, not capable of truly imagining what life on this planet would feel like after she was gone. 

Thing was, now he didn't have to imagine, he knew exactly how cold and empty it was, and the thought of it happening again, without him by her side made his stomach churn in all sorts of new ways. 

OoOoO

Buffy had called back home, once again, to let the gang know where she was. Again she tried to downplay it, told Willow they weren't needed and she would be back soon, probably in the next day or two. Neither Willow nor Dawn questioned her too much, but she knew them, and she could just feel the onslaught of a hundred questions brewing beneath the surface. Already, last night Dawn asked one thing after another about the little boy currently asleep against her chest. 

Apparently Angel had discovered internet shopping, probably thanks to Cordy, but she had spent part of her day here going through box after box of random baby items he'd had delivered. Thankfully she had found one of those baby wrap things and with some help from Fred and Cordy the three of them had finally managed to get Connor secured against her. It was nice to have use of her hands again, spotting Angel coming down the stairs she smiled and showed off her new look, earning one of those infamous smiles from the handsome vampire that she liked to imagine were just for her. She wasn't sure why all of this felt as natural as it did when it came to caring for this particular little boy, sure those implanted memories of Dawn probably helped out but it all felt more than simply knowing a few basics about infant needs underneath it all. It felt too much like she belonged here the more she stayed, at times finding it hard to remember exactly what letting go and unleashing hell on the world was like, or the little voice that would joke around inside of her head saying it felt like Connor knew exactly what he was playing at when he would start to fuss without her. 

And none of that was going to bode well for anything at the end of the day. 

She was endlessly stuck between wanting to soak it all up, to enjoy even being around Angel after so much time apart, even with the knowledge it would only hurt more the longer she stayed and the more she let those walls she'd built up against him crumble right back down to the ground, and in reminding herself she had a life to get back to and all the reasons why none of this could ever work out like the little pretend family vibe they had going on here. 

"I hope that contraption helps you out some," Angel told her after taking in the view a few seconds too long. "Having a small child in your arms all day is fine and dandy but eventually you need use of those limbs for other things, too."

Buffy nodded in agreement. "Especially when you're a vampire slayer, staying in a hotel with a vampire, some demons and the like, all working at protecting some spirited child."

"Exactly."

She shrugged. "Hopefully I won't have to actually put any of those skills to the test in this thing but it feels good to be a little more prepared. He fussed about it at first but I think we have both come to enjoy what's going on here."

He rubbed Connor's head before checking for the countless time if she was really okay with being on Connor duty almost full time, especially with his whole idea about stepping out to go talk to some Lily or Lilah person or something to see if he could find anything out about their little dream sexcapades and magically transportation and all. "It's really not a big deal, Angel. I'll be fine and we have a lot of help standing around just waiting in the wings, hoping for a chance to even help out with the little one here. And you'll have your phone on you in case you need to do any checking in. Just rip the bandaid off, go talk to this evil law firm place of yours, and we can go from there."

OoOoO

Cordelia sighed, putting the book in her hands back down on the desk, words all sort of bleeding together at this point. She'd tried going back through any demons they'd dealt with in the past that had anything to do with sleep or dreams or anything of the sort, then got all side tracked reading about different theories about how the mind worked in an unconscious state and while some of it seemed to be bugging her somehow, she really didn't understand a good portion of the medical mumbo jumbo. 

Looking around the room she couldn't help but feel like something was just staring them all right in the face about whatever was going on with those love birds. 

OoOoO

Angel typically felt like he was a fairly good judge of character, he felt like he had a good sense about reading people, but he wasn't so sure if he believed Lilah or any of the other familiar faces back at Wolfram And Hart when they claimed they had no idea what was going on with him and the Slayer, in all honestly they seemed surprised by the news more than anything else.

Either way, he did not note there was in the air over in those offices, there was something big they were up to, he just wasn't convinced this was what was on the menu. 

Part of him hoped it would have been the obvious answer with them still trying to figure out how to bring the demon inside of him out to play and that it'd be some sort of quick fix, but he wasn't very convinced it was their doing once he was done questioning the lot of them. 

And that meant tonight was still on. He and Buffy had joked numerous times about what tonight might hold in store for everyone but there was no denying the anxiousness about it either. What had been happening between them in their dreams-turn-reality wasn't exactly something he wished to share with anyone, let alone having them bear witness to it all first hand. 

OoOoO

Fred was excited as she rambled on about the plans for tonight, how she hoped it wouldn't be too awkward trying to fall asleep with someone she barely knew in the room, knowing they were staring at her and all. Buffy shrugged, it wouldn't be the craziest thing she'd ever dealt with. Hell, not even the craziest thing she'd dealt with in the past couple of days for that matter. 

The going to sleep part wasn't even the worrisome part as far as she was concerned. The fact that as of late she would fall asleep one place, start dreaming about Angel and suddenly be naked, in his bed, those dreams becoming reality was the nerve wracking part. An audience to that happening made her want to blush every time the thought crossed her mind and she prayed it wouldn't get that far before someone was shaking them awake or something. 

Looking down at Connor, she wondered if it would be easier to just have him crash with her in the spare room. He'd still showed little interest in Angel today, even after having spent time apart from him when he'd gone off to deal with lawyers and everything. But she knew Angel had been missing him and probably wanted some of his normal back. Sure, a break was nice as a new parent, but it was still his child, not hers.


	4. Chapter Four

When the time finally did come, Buffy managed to try and ease some of the tension threatening to overtake her with a hot shower before changing into some pajamas. She smiled at Connor who seemed to be enjoying his new swing Lorne had managed to finally get together for him that she'd set up right outside the bathroom door so she could peek her head around the shower curtain if need be, brushing at her hair before throwing it up into a messy ponytail. 

Fred went over their plans for tonight one last time when she'd crawled into the bed, nodded her understanding. Closing her eyes she tried to shut out the pretty brunette and kept repeating not to think of anything having to do with the man only a few walls away. 

After countless attempts she had finally managed to sneak out of Angel's room without Connor noticing. For a newborn he had an uncanny ability to sense her presence, so much so that she was starting to wonder if he had inherited some of his father's vampiric tendencies… Or his mother's she reminded herself. She tried to keep that little tidbit about the little boy who was quickly taking hold of her heart, as far from her mind as possible. Angel had glazed over the details pertaining to how his conception came to be and the surprise of his birth, and honestly she had been so busy between helping to care for the little one and all the other craziness going on between herself and Angel she hadn't really had the time to process anything just yet. 

Her heart ached for Connor, especially now knowing for herself what it was like to be a part of this world without having your mother in it. But another part of her, the selfish part was so fucking grateful that things had turned out the way they had for Darla. Everytime she even tried to envision her being here, holding Connor, sharing the responsibilities of parenthood with Angel, well it made her stomach churn to say the least. It hurt, more than she thought possible to know that once again Darla would share something with Angel that she never would. 

Angel hadn't come right out and said it, mostly because she hadn't given him the chance but she knew with every fiber of her being that had there been a way, he would have chosen her to be Connor's mom. That knowledge alone sent her into a tailspin everytime she thought about it, everything about what was happening did. She had always missed Angel, she always would, it was a fact that she had begrudgingly learned to live with because she hadn't thought she had another option. 

After these last few days though, after waking up in his bed, after spending the days together working, taking care of Connor, well she was almost starting to feel like there might still be a place for her here in his life, and those were the thoughts that terrified her most. 

OoOoO

Eventually she must have drifted off, because the next thing she knew she was being woken by Connor’s screams. Once she recognized the sound, her eyes immediately snapped open as she pushed herself up in the bed. 

"Sorry," Angel managed over his son's cries. He had just managed to get in his own bed and drift off when Connor's cries had him shooting back out of bed. He and Wes both had tried any and everything they could think of to calm the poor child, he'd even resorted in calling Lorne up to his room to sing a lullaby or two but Con wasn't having it. If anything the songs only made his cries grow stronger, he'd fed him, burped him, changed his diaper, he'd even checked his temperature twice, it didn't seem there was anything physically wrong and yet he was at his wits end with how to soothe him. 

Seeing the panic in his eyes, she immediately climbed out of bed and asked Fred if she could give them a few minutes. Poor girl did little more than nod before leaving the room, Buffy couldn't help but feel for the girl, or shake the similarities she kept associating with Will circa sophomore year. "Hey buddy," she whispered, softly running her fingers over the small bits of hair on his head. Almost instantly Connor’s cries seemed to subside some, they didn't stop, but he didn't seem as frantic, and she could see Angel relax a little. "I thought we agreed you were sleeping with Daddy tonight, hmm?"

Angel grumbled, "I'm starting to think he doesn't even like me." 

Buffy gave him a sympathetic look but, kept talking to Connor, "Say that's impossible," standing on her tiptoes, she softly pressed her lips to his cheek, "Tell Dad you just happened to inherit his moodiness," her eyes lifted to shoot Angel a wink, "It's called karma," she whispered, "And lucky for both of you, Buffy figured out how to decipher said mood swings a long time ago." 

She could have almost sworn she saw Angel roll his eyes when she smirked up at him, but he hadn't objected when she tugged on his free hand until he got the hint and followed her to the bed. Pulling back the covers she scooted over and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to follow. "Buffy," he breathed, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" 

She shrugged, "Probably not, but right now I'm pretty sure it's our only option, I mean, if you plan on the three of us getting any sleep. Don't worry, I won't bite," She grinned, "Unless you ask me to." 

Angel briefly wondered if she had any clue how much her words still affected him, looking down at Connor he didn't figure he had much of a choice either way. The boy had already calmed so much, barely a whimper escaped, his small gaze fixated on the blonde who was already reaching for him. Relenting, he carefully handed Connor over and climbed into the bed beside her. Well at least they weren't going to have to worry about Wes or Fred witnessing some private moment between the two of them, though he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed about that too. 

Without a moments hesitation his large arm encircled her as he watched his son begin to doze while burrowing his head against her breast. "Ya know," he whispered, "I'm starting to think I'm being played." 

Tilting her head she looked up at the other man who'd stolen her heart, "How?"

"Because," he motioned towards the infant, "If I knew all it took was a few tears to get there, I'd throw a fit every time too." 

Her free hand circled back to hold onto his neck, without even thinking she guided his lips down to her own. Apparently he'd been in such a state of panic with Connor he'd foregone a shirt, which was something that she had absolutely zero qualms about. Angel was the first to break things apart, "Buffy," he groaned in warning, in want, in need. 

He was too damn needy right now, he wanted her too bad, and he wasn't sure he was capable of pressing those limits tonight. His mouth watered with the want to taste her, and smelling her own arousal wasn't helping matters at all. This morning, last night whatever you wanted to call it, she'd been so close and all day long every time he looked at her he had to fight the urge to drag her right back upstairs. He could name dozens of things that didn't include  _ perfect happiness, _ but he was trying to be strong, for her, for Connor. 

Buffy turned a little and slowly slid Connor down to the bed, grabbing a couple pillows, she carefully arranged them around his sleeping form before turning her attention back to the centuries old vampire. "I was trying really hard to just fall asleep, my mind blank as I could make it, trying really hard not to start slipping under with visions of you on my mind," she whispered. 

Pressing his lips to her forehead for a moment, "I hadn't quite made it even that far but I was trying to figure out something to dream about when the time came and I was hoping that if dreams did lead us in that same direction again that I would be able to do a better job at recognizing reality a little better. Not that everything going on hasn't had its perks..." he told her with a smirk. 

"Oh, whatever," she tried to hush him. "I'm not sure what role those actions might have in whatever is going on with us but I hope somehow or another Wesley can still get a lead from watching over us tonight. As much as I might enjoy being here, and truthfully the break from Sunnydale is dangerous as we all know but I'm kind of grateful to be away at the same time... I know I need to get back." Sliding her palm up his chest, she added, "For a multitude of reasons."

"I know," he whispered back, his head dipping down to brush his lips against her own. The biggest concern besides the state of the Slayerless Hellmouth was hanging over their head threat of crossing a line to bring about another round of Angelus on the world and they'd already discussed the worries over that happening a number of times now. 

He couldn't imagine letting something like that come about again, putting her and everyone else he cared about at risk, putting Connor at risk of what his demonic half might do to his son, of hurting either of them like that again... but he also couldn't deny that at times he would almost not care while in the heat of it all. Years of trying to build up against that sure in the hell went out the damn window fast, if anything he wondered at times if it hadn't only made everything more difficult to want to fight against.

Every second she was here beside him felt like he was just being pulled in an endless amount of directions, never fully knowing which way was up. 

OoOoO

Somehow, Wesley managed to look even more uncomfortable than Fred when the two of them returned, stating they still planned to at least watch over them as they slept, unsure how much of a role the distance played in the new mystery at hand, and saying they could always try again tomorrow if it came to that with separating them. 

Clearing his throat, Wesley reminded her endlessly of Giles as he tried to avoid any direct contact, asking them as gently as he could if they were sure being in bed together was the best idea. It hadn't been the first time he'd tried to casually mention his concerns but the fact of actually seeing it like this had him looking a little green around the gills. 

Buffy shrugged, snuggling deeper into the blanket, "Well, I mean... if he gets handsy you can always hit us with one of those little spray bottle looking things you got over there," she said with a grin. 

Wes didn't look overly amused but he did roll his eyes and listened as the two of them both all but begged to just go to sleep while Connor seemed to be at peace and get tonight over with. 

OoOoO

From the time she fell under until she felt little hands pawing at her hair and little sounds coming from the little one, Buffy had no idea what might have happened. As far as she knew, last night she had been nothing but dead to the world. 

Opening her eyes, she lifted her head up enough to look at Connor, sharing a smile with him before whispering this was a nice change of pace, the not being woken up by ear piercing shrieks and cries, and from what she could tell they had gotten the most hours of sleep clocked in since this whole mess started. 

Gathering herself up in bed enough to sit up and take better hold of the infant, she took in her still dressed form, Angel looking like he hadn't even moved an inch once through the night, exactly as he had been when she fell asleep her own self. She couldn't decide if she felt more relief nothing had happened or disappointed by the fact. 

It was one of the most unfair parts of her whole calling, destiny, life... whatever you want to put it down as... that she wanted him as damn badly as she did and there was no way around it, there was no point those feelings weren't just going to simply go away or end. 

As she tried to quietly scoot to the edge of the bed to go ahead and start checking on his diaper, if he were hungry, and all the basics, she shook her head a little spotting Fred and Wesley both asleep in their chairs off in the corner. 'Bunch of help the two of you are,' she thought. She also silently grumbled about how much she and Angel had both told them staying up all day and night and planning for another all day the following one just didn't seem like the best course of action. Being used to running on little sleep was one thing but they were all stressed out, there was a baby in the hotel, things were a bit different right now.

OoOoO

"So... it was a bust?" Angel asked, covering a large yawn both before and after he spoke. 

Fred looked sheepishly his way and shrugged. "Maybe whoever is behind this took the night off? Didn't like an audience?" she started to ask a series of questions, going over what had been different, what all had happened the previous times... and he found himself only half listening as he watched Connor and Buffy. 

He'd been surprised Connor hadn't went off like the siren he was during the night or even when waking up, or that Connor hadn't really gotten upset when he was holding him either, Buffy and he had passed him back and forth a number of times, usually when she had to go run and use the bathroom or grab something... never for long but the past few days that would have been unheard of, Connor wanting no part of it. 

He wasn't sure if that had anything to do with things, but it certainly was striking him as something to take note of. 'Maybe they were content,' he silently added to Fred's earlier ramblings. 

He had no idea the hows or whys if Connor could somehow be connected, on his own or someone pulling some strings somewhere, whatever the case may be... but he was starting to wonder... 

OoOoO

"So... what do we do now? Try again tonight? I just go ahead and keep Connor when everyone turns in? Try heading home and hoping I don't wake up back here again?" They had finally managed to sneak away from everyone for a few minutes, after hearing from Wes and Fred about the previous nights events, and how the two of them had ended up sleeping in the same bed Cordelia seemed to be keeping an extra close eye on the two of them, barely letting Angel out of her sight for even a minute. Honestly it was really starting to get annoying, she'd been having flashbacks all day to those early nights at Sunnydale when she had to repeatedly prove just who Angel belonged to, though now even she wasn't a hundred percent certain of that answer. 

The last thing he wanted was for her to leave, after the last few days he was having a hard time even imagining falling asleep without her at his side much less a hundred miles away, but he knew they couldn't keep going like this. Plus, even though he was more than enjoying the peace and quiet his son was currently granting them, he wanted to test the theory that was beginning to take shape within his mind. Lying back on the bed, his legs dangling off the side, he grabbed her arm with an almost supernatural speed and pulled her atop him. Running his hands up and down her outer thighs a few times, his fingers bit into her hips, pulling her against him as tightly as he could manage. 

"Kiss me," he demanded softly. For someone who prided themself on control, he sure was slipping, but if he was wrong, if Connor didn't have something to do with this, if it was all just some weird ass fluke, or if it had been Wolfram and Hart and he'd somehow managed to scare them off, then he wanted to take full advantage of their last few hours together. 

Her hands ran up and down his chest over the thin material of the v-neck he'd thrown on after a quick shower this morning. She couldn't help but rock against the pulsing length she felt coming to life between them, leaning forward, she moved her hands to either side of his head and slowly started teasing his lips with her own. How many hours had they spent like this before her birthday, before Angelus, she wasn't even sure. So many nights they were supposed to be patrolling they would end up back at his apartment, or on the nights her mom would stay out of town for some art thing, in her bed, just exploring. Nibbling, touching, tasting, getting lost in each other the way that lovers were supposed too. 

Before she knew what was happening, she felt her own back pressing against the warm bed. Her thighs widened as he settled above her and for just a fraction of a second she was transported back through time, back to when things were simple, back when there was a clear line between her friends and her enemies, when Angel was her boyfriend, and she still held onto the notion of happily ever after. A small sigh escaped her when he abandoned her mouth to start a path down the side of her neck, nipping and sucking, leaving a fiery trail to the place that would forever be a reminder of him, of them, of what they had.

"A-Angel," she half moaned against him, turning her head a bit to force him to look at her. 

"Hmm," he asked, almost in a trance. Everything was starting to become so damn muddled, he had forgotten how strong the pull between them was. He'd forgotten how badly he wanted her, how much he craved her touch whenever she was around. It would be so easy to strip all their clothes, to lock her legs around his waist and feel her surrounding him again, hell it wasn't easy, it was natural. 

"I miss you," she whispered, her words mirroring his thoughts. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want to do this anymore, she didn't want to live in two separate worlds anymore. They had been pretty damn close these last few days, and she wasn't sure she could just go back to only having him in her memories. 

OoOoO

He kept telling himself that he was in control of the situation, that there was no way he was going to allow them to cross that line. It had started with her shirt, he'd tugged the damn thing up and over her head, just needing to feel her against him. Then, when he'd finished lavishing every inch available to his view his head had dipped lower. He grinned as he felt a full shiver course through her, sometimes he found himself wondering, questioning whether or not she really could have loved him that much, though these last few nights had done a lot to assuage those doubts. 

Her finger clawing at him, he finally gave in and made the mistake of crawling back up her soft curves. Just like so many times in the past her fingers tangled in the hairs of his nape as he kissed her until she was breathless all over again, which would have been fine, except she wasn't the innocent teenager he remembered so vividly, she was now a woman, who knew exactly what she wanted. 

A sharp hiss escaped him when one of her hands snuck between them to grip him through his trousers. Back when they were together, before he'd left Sunnydale, before he'd lost his soul, there were certainly times they'd gotten lost in one another, but she'd been so shy then, so innocent, it was easy to deter a virgins touch, hers now, not so much. 

OoOoO

They were a tangled mess of hot and sweaty limbs, which was saying a lot especially since he technically didn't even have a body temperature. She wasn't sure how they had ended up in such a predicament, where their clothes had gone, or how her thighs had found themselves wound so tightly around him. She could feel him pressing against her center, torturing and teasing but never quite entering her. 

He was fairly certain it was the most difficult thing he had ever fucking accomplished, but he'd somehow managed to force himself away from her hot center. Though he hadn't managed to get very far, his soul was a hell of a lot safer this way anyhow. His tongue darted out, slowly tracing the outline of her slick folds, her taste alone nearly enough to send him off in oblivion. His palms slipped beneath her thighs, his fingers digging roughly into her ass he held her tightly while flipping them around. 

Her arms braced against the mattress, she tried her best to hold herself up to keep her weight off him. Until she reminded herself that he didn't actually need to breathe that was, then she just gave up trying to make sure she wasn't smothering him. Her eyes fluttered open, the sight of his face buried so intimately between her thighs was nearly enough to send her over that precious edge of bliss, but then she caught a glimpse of what his other hand was busy doing. 

"Oh, God," she moaned in a whispered voice, her entire body seemed to quake against him, against the bed, as he continued to show her exactly how much he had missed their couplings, and as her hungry eyes drank in every move his hand sliding root to tip made. 

A longing hit her with full force that she hadn't even been remotely prepared for as she continued to stare at him, almost as if she were in a trance. Gone were the days of her doubting herself, questioning every little thing she felt, did, whatever sounds were escaping her and making her blush when she and Angel were tangled up like this. Their times together where she was worried about hurting him somehow or of doing something so clumsily wrong. 

While she felt miles away from being any sort of sex goddess or anything of the sort, she did feel endlessly different now than she had all those years back. Sure, having their time together had helped, actually sleeping together had been a giant leap, then her attempts at moving on from the heartbreak that came from him leaving her and Sunnydale behind... her time with Riley had left her a little more comfortable in her own skin, but beyond that... it was the fact it was him, it was Angel... her Angel. And God, had she missed him and wanted him, craved him every single day since they had been parted. 

OoOoO

Everything felt like a blur... all he knew was her, the rest of the world didn't exist... Angel's mouth moved against her as if both their lives depended on it, unable to get enough. It had been too long since he'd had any of this and the past few days had done little to help, they'd both been built up time and time again with no release, no warning they'd even be put in a situation like this to begin with... and they were both holding onto frayed strings of sanity here. 

The pressure Buffy's thighs put against either side of his head helped muffle out her cries and pleas but they were still there, egging him on, not that he needed much more encouragement at this point. 

He was too focused on what he was doing, in imagining himself truly inside of her, his hand shape against his own sex to help play out the little fantasy when he felt her touch him. 

Angel's whole body seemed to jerk, nearly coming clean off the bed as she wasted no time at all in going all in, her warm mouth closing in over his manhood before he even had time to put together what she was doing. He let out a string of curses as his lips broke away from her temporarily, his body fighting itself for air that it didn't logically need.

Eyes rolling back into his head, he got lost in the sensation of everything she was doing to him. For a brief moment he wondered exactly where she had learned these new moves and who she'd been practicing such on... the guilt and jealously threatening to overtake him so doing all he could to push those thoughts from his mind and just enjoy exactly what he needed right now. 


	5. Chapter Five

If the past few days had taught her anything, it was that they didn't exactly get to do a lot of savoring the moment and getting off at the same time. As much as she would have happily stayed on top of Angel forever, letting him tease her into oblivion, until she was in tears, numb, and spent... finally letting her find release as many times as he could manage... as much as she would have liked to take things slow, to drive him just as crazy, to touch him in ways she'd only done in her dreams until now, to slowly nibble and lick at his length, to test out different pressures and speeds, to drive him to the edge, pull away, and start all over again... she was too terrified this would wind up nothing but a dream, or that they'd be cut off nearing the final calling of bliss, and she couldn't imagine surviving one more round of that.

She loved Connor with all she had, but she thought she might lose her mind if she was shuddering on that edge one more time and they had to stop because he was off losing his mind needing them. 

Angel remained lost in his surprise by her boldness, consumed in the sensation of her hungrily going after his cock, but soon she felt his lips return to her, the tip of his tongue finding its way to her clit. Groaning around his dick from the sensation, Angel's hips jerked once more, only helping to draw him deeper. 

Feeling two fingers enter inside of her slick heat, she felt nearly light headed, her brain having trouble staying focused on what she was doing and what he was making her feel. Angel seemed to understand the unspoken need for urgency she was beginning to feel and worry about, his every move seemed to be with great purpose, all with intent of driving her crazy. Her thighs were already shaking before he trapped her pulsating button back between his cool lips, her whole body seemed to be squirming within seconds, her hips rotating despite his strong hold he had on her. 

Unable to resist, he fell from her mouth as she screamed for him not to stop, begging him to keep going in a heated chant. Never in her life had she needed something more than release right now, after the past several days with him, the years she'd spent without him. She pushed back against him, one hand gripping into the bedsheets at the side of his leg, the other holding tight to his erection. 

She heard him growl, his nails digging nearly painfully into her flesh to try and force her to be still and under his control, she could feel his face transform against her... how it tickled and sparked the fire all at the same time... just as it had every other time he had dared to feast between her thighs. 

There was nothing but bright light then utter darkness and then a swarm of various colors dancing across her eyes as she lost control, waves of pleasure taking over her, his name falling from her lips as she tried to hold on. Her lungs burned, her inner walls spasming with seemingly no end in sight. 

OoOoO

Pulling herself away from Angel had gone quite ungracefully, her whole body felt like it was detached from her, as if she were floating. Her legs shook as she managed to move herself into the new position, one of her small hands reaching back out for his dick. Even it shook as she gripped onto him, beginning to stroke him up and down. She loved how he felt, velvety, hard, perfectly sculpted at times it would feel like just for her.

She sucked in her breath as she dared a glance his way, his dark eyes drinking her in like no one else ever had. Not breaking eye contact she carefully shifted, climbing over his leg she positioned herself safely between his thighs, and completely out of his reach. The memory of how he felt back inside her was too new, too raw, she didn't have much faith in either of their strength to say no at the moment. 

His fingers threaded through her hair, he wasn't forcing her head or anything, just softly guiding her movements as it was just about the only part of her he could reach. Probably a good thing too, 'cause all he could think about was how badly he wanted to be inside her again. He was so desperate, he was mentally calculating all the ways they might be able to bypass the stupid fucking curse. He was a hairs breath away from grabbing her, and begging her to take a chance with him. He could pull out, finish himself off, whatever, he had been just about to say something, to force her name from his lips, when she tilted her head and somehow managed to take nearly his full length down her throat. 

He was fairly certain his brain ceased to function, some strangled noise must have escaped him though because she released him from her mouth with a loud pop he could have swore he heard her giggle, but then she was doing it all over again and reality slipped right back out from under him. 

OoOoO

His vision just barely returning, he wasted no time leaning up just enough to grab hold of her and haul her up against him. Not even given her the chance to decide his mouth instantly slanted over hers, not at all minding the taste of himself on her tongue. "You're absolutely perfect," he somehow managed between unneeded breaths of air. 

Pulling back just a bit she propped her chin on top of one of her hands over his chest, one of her brows rose, "Not too perfect right?" 

"No," Angel smirked, one of his hands tracing lazy patterns down her back. "I still want you too badly for to have been considered perfect," his lips brushed across her forehead, "But it was close enough… for now." 

They laid in comfortable silence, probably the most comfort either of them had felt in a while, both of them just soaking up everything about the other. It wasn't until Connor began to whimper that Buffy started to push herself off him, but Angel was too quick, tightening his hold he pulled her right back against him. Confused, her eyes bounced up to his dark stare, "Say this whole dream teleporting that's been happening stops for some reason and I don't wake up with you tonight…" He paused, both to let his words settle and to give himself one more chance to come to his senses and stop thinking with every single organ besides his damn brain.

"Ya," Buffy asked meekly, urging him to continue, a strange but familiar feeling of what she could only describe as hope bubbling up inside her. 

"Would it be okay, I mean would mind," he smirked knowing he was completely screwing this whole thing up. 

"Angel you're kinda scaring me," she whispered, completely able to count on one hand the number of times she'd seen this centuries old man at a loss for words. 

His head shook slightly, "What do you think about keeping in touch," he finally forced out. "Not physically necessarily, I mean not that I'm opposed to those parts too," he smirked, "But after everything these last few days, Connor, seeing you with him and the way he responds to you. Having you here researching, acting as part of my team, waking up beside you…" He trailed off all over again. 

Buffy tried to bite back the grin threatening to take over, "So you're saying you wanna date?" 

For someone with a track record like his own when it came to women, his skills were sorely lacking. "No," he grimaced, "Maybe, I don't know, did we ever really date?"

"Welllll," she now grinned, tracing the outline of his jaw, her finger gently guiding over the soft stubble that had formed the last day or so, she'd always wondered what he'd look like with goatee. "I guess we didn't in the traditional sense, but are you sure you want this Angel? I mean there was a whole laundry list of reasons you gave for leaving me, and from where I'm seeing things some of the most important pointers on your list haven't really changed." Letting out a long sigh she continued, "I love you, I've always loved you, and I'm pretty sure if I lived a hundred more lifetimes I wouldn't find someone who even came close to what I share with you. No matter what you might think, I'm still yours, despite Spike or Riley, hell even Darla, when I think about us I still feel like we're each others, and if you want to try this, and I mean really try, because the one thing I can pretty much guarantee is that it won't be easy, but in my soul I feel like it would be worth it. I just need you to promise me that in a week, or a month, or a year, or whatever you won't revert back to thinking I deserve more, or that our limitations are too much for you to handle. Because as much as it would suck returning to Sunnydale and going back to business as usual, at this point right now -today- I know I could survive it, it may take me awhile but I could do it. But, I'm not so sure I could say the same thing given another month or so, I barely survived you leaving me the first time, and now there's Connor's too and I don't even want to imagine that heartache. So please," She fought at the tears threatening to fall, "Don't make me go through it all again."

For a conversation that had started out so light, it sure had taken a heavy turn, not that he expected any less considering what they were discussing. His chest squeezed, he loved his team, he loved Cordelia, and Wesley, Lorne, Gunn and Fred, but aside from Connor no one had ever mattered, no like her. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for the beauty in his arms, and yet he had hurt her on more than one occasion he might add, more than he had ever hurt a single living being, both as Angelus and himself. He'd put her through absolute hell and that was something he would never stop atoning for. 

Pressing his lips back to hers, he tried to convey everything he was feeling, everything he was thinking into that one action. He knew they had loads to talk about, to figure out, especially with her being in Sunnydale and him more or less being stuck here. They weren't even sure she wouldn't wake up back in his bed but either way he needed to know that this wasn't goodbye, and more importantly they needed to find some fucking way to fix this fucking gypsy loophole that had haunted him for, the both of them, for too damn long. It wasn't as though he hadn't looked into it before, tried to come up with some way around it before... but he wasn't so sure he ever felt more determined about anything before. Leaving her back at her graduation had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do, but it was true, it wasn't just about the curse... but things were different now. 

No matter what though, he knew he couldn't just go back to the way things were, he couldn't just have these past few days with her again and yet again turn his back on everything he wanted, on everything that they could be. 

OoOoO

After much discussion about their options for what to do next with Angel and his team, Buffy finally decided to try the whole return to Sunnydale thing again. Her heart felt heavy but no one had any answers still, and Dawn had called about four different times worrying about a project she was supposed to be helping the younger Summers girl out with, and there was never much good coming from an unattended Sunnydale. Hell, last time she hadn't even managed a patrol around town, too tired and confused about everything that had been going on with Angel to muster up the energy. And then she was right back in his bed so it had put a wrench in some of her normal activities for sure.

As promising as the idea of just staying here for however long sounded... it wasn't ever going to be quite in the cards. 

Wesley promised to be ready in the event anything supernatural came to pass tonight and that everyone would continue looking into what could be causing her mysterious appearances. It was strange having to go through all the goodbyes with the gang again but they managed, and she felt as sad today as she did yesterday about it. 

And then there was Angel and there was Connor and she was sure having to part with either of them would simply never be easy and feel heart wrenching no matter what. It was a bit easier knowing it wasn't forever, it wasn't really goodbye... but a lot remained unknown. She and Angel had a lot still to figure out about this whole new idea of dating and how it was to work but they at least had tossed a few ideas around for when they could see each other next - if magic didn't get to them first - with promises of phone calls and keeping in touch in between those times. 

The idea of being Angel's again was overwhelming, in her heart she knew she always would belong to him but to have it be more than that again seemed for so long like an unattainable dream. She wasn't so sure she would ever see him again let alone have him saying he wanted them to try being a couple once more. She nearly felt like that daydreaming sixteen year old again when she'd get lost in the bubbling feeling of happiness. 

Along with it were worries though, too. That was going to be a hard conversation to have with everyone back in Sunnydale, it was going to be hard not making the same mistakes they once had. Angel's soul was still hanging in the balance if they pushed too hard, and it still wasn't easy to not just get lost in one another, and at times almost forget to care about what their actions may bring. She was better than that, he certainly was, but love was never black and white... especially when you add in a vampire slayer and a cursed with a soul demon.

She didn't know where all of this was heading, but she wanted more than anything to find it out. 

OoOoO

Angel sighed loudly, fingers pushing against his far too tired eyes as he thanked whatever he could think was out there in the universe that Connor had finally settled down. More than anything he was pretty sure the small being had wore himself out from all the distress of realizing Buffy wasn't around and wasn't coming... at least not anytime in the near future, the amount of tears and screaming and seeming to nearly fight against any of them almost seemed to be more than any tiny little newborn should be capable of. He was pretty sure all of them were going to have lasting ringing in their ears from tonight alone. 

Sighing again, he glanced at the clock, then over to the form of his son. "I miss her, too, Con," he whispered, not for the first time through all of this. It only hurt more knowing how her presence, and lack there of, took a toll on him as well. 

Letting himself fall back onto the bed, his legs remained touching the floor, his eyes staying closed as his thoughts drifted back to Sunnydale, imagining Buffy as she returned, faces of others he missed, the streets he never stopped longing for. 

Of all the places he had been, the small Californian town would always be where his heart called home. 

He wasn't so sure he wouldn't just drift off as he were, and was getting pretty damn close to it, too damn exhausted from everything in his life the past... well... what seemed like forever right now. From shit hitting the fan with Darla, Connor coming into the world and flipping everything on its damn head, then all of this with Buffy topping the weirdness of his life off... but suddenly he felt himself jolt back awake, his eyes hurriedly scanning around him until he landed on someone he'd been sure he would never see again in his lifetime.

His mouth hung open, unsure what he wanted to lead with... his head rushing through some quick some snarky comments, thinking of asking him just how he got up here, or what in the hell he of all damn people wanted now... but words seemed to just die at the tip of his tongue and all he could do was stare.

Whistler's eyes drifted from Angel and on over to Connor, his head shaking slowly. "Of all the things...." he mumbled. 

Angel, still unsure what to say, just nodded. 

"You sure do like keeping everybody on their toes, don't you? It feels like every single time I feel I have a good read on you, you take one hell of a sharp right hand turn and then everyone this way and that are scrambling to get out of the way, to figure out how destiny was just uprooted, how to fix things this time."

"Imagine how I feel," Angel finally spoke. 

Whistler shook his head. "I don't think I even want to go there," he said with a smirk and chuckle. "I have my own problems, I don't need more of yours, too, thank you very much. But, since we are speaking of your countless issues... you and the same ol' slayer, huh?" 

A sinking feeling struck him hard in the stomach, sure that Whistler was here to lecture him or have some roundabout conversation of how the two of them could never work, how they were just asking for trouble. His eyes cast down away from the demon hybrid once again, feeling his shoulders slump he gave a slight nod, "Buffy." 

Whistler chuckled, "That girl sure has given the powers a run for their money, huh? Something tells me they had no idea what they were in for when the perpetual wheel of fate landed on that one. Certainly didn't expect her to go falling in love with the likes of you, hell even I thought it was all going to turn out to be some fling on both your parts." Crossing the room, he took a seat on the edge of the bed between Angel and where Connor slept in the small bassinet. "Guess there really is something to be said about the whole soulmate thing." 

"Ya," Angel sighed, "Look if you're because you or the powers or whoever are worried about my soul, then let me assure what happened before, with Angelus, it won't happen again. We know what's at stake this time."

"Do you," Whistler asked from beside him. "Cause let me tell you these last few days, well let's just say there's not a lot that makes me blush, but the two of you, even some of my elders were too embarrassed to check in on the two of ya." 

A low growl erupted from Angel, ya he worked for the powers and technically he knew they were supposed to be the good guys, but they hadn't exactly been kind to him, or Buffy, over the years, and the idea that they had been witness to their most private of moments set him on edge. 

"Man has anyone ever told you that you should relax, it wouldn't kill you to crack a smile every now and again… Well," he paused, "At least not anymore it wouldn't, it's called happiness Angel, and I'm here to tell you that you should give it a try." 

For the first time since he had arrived, Angel's gaze met his, his eyes darkened and before Whistler knew what happened the vampire's fist was wrapped around his throat as he pinned him hard against the wall. "What  _ exactly  _ is that supposed to mean," Angel growled around a mouth full of fangs, well past his limit of these people meddling in his life. 

Gasping for breath, Whistler dug his nails into the tight grip of his arm, "You're honestly telling me you haven't wondered about this," he somehow managed. 

Angel released him, but not before slamming him against the wall one more time. "Wondered about what?"

Dusting his shirt off, Whistler straightened his collar as he attempted to catch his breath. "This," he motioned around the room. "You have a son, the love of your life came back from the dead, literally, you're honestly telling me neither of those acts invoked perfect happiness?" Shaking his head, he continued, "Not to mention thank to the little pipsqueak over there, you've woken up doing rather delectable things with said girl, and still you're too thick headed to even think it may be a possibility."

"What does Connor have to do with any of this," Angel went to lunge at him again, but Whistler held his hands up in a show of surrender. 

"Dude, chill out. I am not the enemy here, remember? The kid, he's a part of you, and I don't know all the ins and outs of it all, but somehow just like his father he's grown rather fond of a certain blonde." 

Whistler watched as realization slowly dawned on him, "So it was Connor, he was bringing Buffy here?" Whistler nodded.

"How?" 

"That's the part that isn't really clear," he shrugged. "They don't tell me everything, but that kid you got there, he's special Angel. Special in a way that even the powers aren't sure about yet, right now all we know is that he needs a mother and it seems to me like he's already chosen one." 

His head was spinning, if he had a heart beat he was fairly certain it would have been beating out his chest. He was no fool, and he fully understood what Whistler was implying, but he didn't dare hope to dream of such things. "And my soul?" 

Whistler chuckled again, and it took all of Angel's two hundred plus years of learned restraint not to throw him back into the wall. "You really think the powers would give you that little bundle without first ensuring that your alter ego wasn't locked away for good." 

"The clause," Angel somehow managed, "It's gone?" 

Whistler nodded, "Consider it a gift, a reward if you will for all the good you've done so far."

"Are you sure?"

Grabbing two glasses from the cabinet, Whistler helped himself to the bottle of whiskey Angel had stashed away on top of the fridge. "Wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Wasn't going to interfere, hell my money was on you figuring it out for yourself, didn't think your self control could reach the depths you're so obviously capable of. Thought you and the slayer would get lost in each other after that first night and the two of you would figure it out for yourselves, obviously," he pushed a glass Angel's way, "I was giving you too much credit… or not enough," he grinned before downing the amber liquid. 


	6. Chapter Six

He had been in a daze ever since Whistler disappeared. He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around everything, but he could worry about Connor and just what everything might mean later. All he could focus on right now was getting to Sunnydale as fast as possible. He wasn't even sure what all he had grabbed and thrown into the bag as he rushed to get Connor ready to leave. As with most things in his life he wasn't sure why all of this was happening, and he definitely wasn't sure he deserved any of it, but he wasn't about to refuse it, not this, not now. 

For the first time since that rainy January night all those years ago, he actually felt hopeful. Like there might actually be a future for him outside of monsters and saving innocents. Not only was he now a father, he had a real chance of creating a family with Buffy, a dream he hadn't dared to ever let himself hope for. 

Either Connor could sense where they were headed or the small boy had finally decided to cut his Dad some slack. Ever since they had gotten on the road and headed for Sunnydale he seemed to calm some, which was very much welcome after the hours of screaming he'd had to endure. Pulling onto Ravello, Angel noticed most of the lights were still on in the small house. It was only just after midnight, and a part of him had been worried Buffy would still be out on patrol, but his senses were going haywire, the way they only did when she was near. 

OoOoO

She was exhausted, she wanted nothing more than to go crawl into bed and wake back up in Angel's arms again. Unfortunately that just didn't seem to be in the cards, after patrol she'd come straight home to help Dawn with her project and unluckily for her it was all about her favorite subject, history. Which only made her want to call said vampire even more, because who the hell else was there better to ask than someone who was in the mix of it all? And he seemed to be the only creature on this planet that seemed to be able to get her to care about stories of these olden days and learning about this and that which shaped the world over time. 

Times like this she sure missed the hell out of Giles, too. 

Sighing, she and Dawn struggled to figure things out but another half hour of this torture and she was really ready to grab her phone and use the advantage of a centuries old boyfriend... but then she got all giddy and distracted thinking about how that was even a thing again. Angel was hers, and she had no idea how that was supposed to work but she knew they would make it. They had to. Too damn much had happened and she had been so frayed she wasn't sure how she would even continue on had something big like this having not come to pass. 

"Buffy? Earth to Buffy?" Dawn snapped her fingers, raised her dark eyebrows and pointed back at the screen of her computer. 

Buffy groaned and was just opening her mouth to apologize when a long breath slipped out from between her lips instead. Her head slowly whipped around, following the pulling inside of her. 

"Who in the world would that be?" Dawn asked as the sound of two car doors shutting were heard from in front of the house. 

"Angel," Buffy breathed out, already starting to stand and damn near float trying to get to the door. 

"Angel?" Dawn asked from behind her but she barely heard her, her attention all on what was going on outside. She felt breathless as she pulled the door open, finding Angel with his hand raised just about to knock, Connor's carseat hooked against his elbow. 

"Angel?" she breathed once more, unsure if she was really seeing him or if she was so lost in her exhaustion or something. But then he gave her a half smile, stepped to her, his free arm wrapping around her, hoisting her to him and his lips capturing hers. 

It really didn't matter how much they had done this, how often they had made out - or more, every time he kissed her it always felt like it was the first time all over again to her, butterflies swirling, a warm pooling feeling already starting to brew inside of her, how the rest of the world seemed to just melt away and all there was was him... 

Until about the fifth time Dawnie there tried to get their attention and forced her to pull away, eyes still trained on him. "You're here."

"Great. The world is ending... again... isn't it?" Dawn remarked. "Does this mean I can just skip the homework and call it a night?"

"Everything's fine, as fine as it can be in our worlds anyway," Angel assured the teen, smiling again as she motioned for him to come on inside and Dawn's attention fell to the tiny infant once he got Connor set up. 

"This might be the weirdest thing we've dealt with yet. Angel as a father. I was told. I saw the photos and videos. But... yeah," Dawn commented. 

OoOoO

Angel felt relieved that Connor seemed to be at least tolerating toward Dawn, letting the teenager hold him over on the sofa while he stole Buffy away under the pretense of getting him a bottle ready. 

"I was just thinking about you," Buffy told him. 

Leaning closer to her, Angel dropped a number of slow kisses down the slope of her neck. "I've been thinking of you nonstop since you left," he whispered. 

"And not that I'm not overly thrilled to see you, because I am, especially because now you can help Dawn and leave me on out of it..." she rambled then shook her head, loose blonde locks bouncing around the frame of her face, "But... the question is floating out there in the universe as to what exactly you are doing here."

Angel finished making the bottle before setting it on the counter and taking a step back, his hands resting on either side of her hips. "There was something I needed to tell you."

"Mmhmm. And a phone call wouldn't work?"

He shook his head slowly. "I know we just had this conversation today, but.... but I don't want to date, Buffy. I don't want to be your boyfriend," he told her, working as hard as possible not to break his stony expression as he watched her eyes widen and the vast amount of emotions that followed suite, overtaking every inch of her face, her stance. 

"Oh," was all she could seem to manage to get out, and even that was strangled. 

When he heard the break in her voice he finally did smile, pulling her back to him. "Because that isn't good enough," he finally continued. "I get that a lot has happened over the years we have been apart and I also know it isn't as simple as picking up where we left off at but... but you are my future, you are my forever... and I don't want to waste another moment not having the life that I want with you."

Buffy's face flashed again with a wide range of conflicting thoughts and emotions before she dared sneaking a look back up at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I want you, in every way possible. Boyfriend and girlfriend... it just doesn't feel like enough. In the vampire world, thanks to that mark, we are joined eternally but I want to give you more finality, security, you know... in this, in us. I want to be more. I can't exactly give you some legal binding real world bullshit but... you deserve that, you deserve a husband, a wedding, a commitment like that. A chance to have that celebration and it mean more than some paper or some legal rattled off bullshit that doesn't matter when you spend every day fighting things most of these people know nothing about and-"

"Whoa, what? You want to do... what?"

He took in a deep breath, more for nerves than anything else. "I want to be yours, as much as I can be, Buffy. I want to show you that I'm not going to hurt you again and that I won't take the easy way out, that I will fight to make this work no matter what comes our way. And I want to be here, home, fighting that good fight with you day in and out. I want to take care of you, and Dawn, and Connor... For that to be our lives, our family."

Buffy blinked several times, her eyebrows creased together. "That's... that's all I have wanted, too, Angel but... that's one hell of a tall order and you know that. We are days of being back in each others lives, hours of being even together officially, and on the soul front, well were already getting pretty dicey there... It's a little too fairytaleish to think we can just go off and ride into the sunset." 

Angel had an expression that she couldn't quite read, but he pulled her closer all the same. "And what if I told you my soul wasn't something we had to worry about anymore?" 

Arms draped around his neck, her eyes bore into him as her head shook from side to side, "Angel, wh-what are you talking about?"

Sure he'd had a few hours to digest the news himself, but it was hitting him in completely new ways now that he was standing there with her in his arms again. In a way it all felt like too much, in some ways he was being given all he ever wanted and as was usually the case he was having a hard time accepting the fact that he deserved it all. He swallowed hard as he tried to ignore the tears he could see forming behind her eyes. "Whistler came to see me."

Her gaze widened a bit at the name, "And," she managed, pretty sure her heart was about to pound right out of her chest. If it weren't for his arms wrapped so tightly around her she was almost positive she would have hit the floor by now. 

"And," he repeated. "He said a lot of things, the most important being that the powers didn't want to risk Angelus on the world any longer so they figured out a way to get rid of the curse." 

Her mind was reeling, one thought after another kept looping around inside her head. What felt like a bubble of hope swelled inside her as she fought to remember how exactly to form words. "Are they the ones behind the dreams too?" She watched his head move from side to side almost like everything was happening in slow motion. "No," he grinned, "Apparently that was Connor." 

"Connor?"

He nodded, "But that's not really the part I want to focus on right now." 

He had no sooner got the words out before a piercing wail tore through the house. "Looks like someone may have heard you."

"No," Angel groaned, before placing the bottle in her hands, "I'm pretty sure he just realized you were no longer in the room, he's been like that ever since you left." 

He had to admit that he adored how much his son loved her too, but right now he wanted her all to himself. They had waited what felt like a lifetime for this day and he wasn't up for sharing even if it was his own son.

OoOoO

Angel glanced from where he was helping Dawn in the dining room to Buffy and Connor who was as he expected just as content as he could possibly be curled up across her chest without a care in the world. Thankfully Dawn's project was over history, a subject he was pretty well versed in, but no matter they couldn't get through it quick enough. Hell if were being honest, he was about half a second away from telling her not to worry about it and doing the whole damn thing by himself. 

He wasn't sure what all Buffy had told her or anyone else for that matter about the two of them, but judging from the shocked look on Willow's face when she and her girlfriend arrived, he was fairly certain it hadn't been much. It didn't matter though, they could inform all of them tomorrow, tonight he just wanted to focus on her. Though he wasn't even real sure how that was going to play out, thankfully he'd had the mind to pack Connor's pack and play but that still put the infant in the same room as the two of them, and not to mention the fact that her little sister would be on the other side of one wall, and her best friend the other. Suddenly he was questioning everything, longing for the hotel where they could at least have some semblance of privacy. 

"So you and Buffy, huh?" 

Angel blinked pulling himself back from his thoughts to meet Dawn's hazel eyes across the table. "You know, I think I preferred the version of you who ran around with her spy journal and was too afraid to ask the hard questions." 

She giggled, she had always liked Angel, well that's what her memories told her anyway. He was like Spike in a lot of ways, not that she was dumb enough to ever tell either of them that, but unlike most of the people around here he'd always treated her like a person, not just Buffy's little sister. 

"So does that mean I'm right? The two of you are back together?" 

With a great reluctance he nodded, the last thing he wanted to do was cross any lines here, but he didn't want to lie to the girl either. Just then a sharp pain exploded from his shin, his eyes widened, "What was that for?" 

Dawn's eyes narrowed, and when she spoke her voice had lowered by several octaves. "Do you have any idea how many nights she cried herself to sleep after you left? Yes I was young but I was never stupid Angel. She loved you, she still loves you, and other than when Mom died I've never seen Buffy so…  _ broken. _ " She sighed and snuck a glance her sisters way, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't want the two of you to get back together, but Buffy's been through a lot, more than even you know, she doesn't think I see it, but she's been barely hanging on. Now here you are waltzing back into her life, except this time it's not just you, you've brought a baby of all things a long. And look at them," she motioned towards where Buffy was holding Connor, "If the two of you can't make this work it will kill her, literally, she couldn't handle losing the two of you after everything else." 

Apparently the night was just full of surprises, of all the things he'd expected to come out of the teenagers mouth it certainly wasn't that. Though he was aware everyone around here, Buffy included, had a way of always underestimating Dawn, he still wasn't prepared for the level of maturity coming from her. 

Reaching across the table, he stole one more quick look in the direction of the blonde in question and his son before grabbing Dawn's hand. "I know I have a lot to prove Dawn, and trust me when I say that I know you nor anyone else around here is going to be thrilled when they hear the news about me and your sister. But I promise you, no matter what happens, I have no plans to ever leave her again." 

One of Dawn's eyebrows rose, "And your soul?"

If he had a pulse he was pretty sure he would have blushed under the young girls gaze. She'd been so young before she hadn't known exactly what had happened, or the cause behind it. He guessed it made sense that she had been told, or more likely figured it out in the years that had passed. He cleared his throat, pausing for a moment before assuring the younger Summers sibling that Angelus back out on the loose because of some moment of perfect happiness - something that was bound to happen whenever Buffy was involved, now more than ever - was no longer something they needed to worry about. 

Dawn silently listened as he gave what information he had on that front then she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. "And is that the only reason you're even here?"

That tingle of embarrassment hit him once more, his lips turning up just at the corners before he shook his head. "Doesn't hurt," he joked, his smile growing. 

"Okay, well that's gross," Dawn rolled her eyes at him. 

Angel chuckled for a moment before turning serious again. "Every reason that Buffy and I just didn't seem to work all those years ago, the things that were driving us apart, breaking both of our hearts to pieces... they've either been resolved somehow or other things just... don't seem as important or as big of a deal as they did a couple of years ago. The moment I ever even first laid eyes on your sister I knew she was going to change my life, I knew that she was the only thing I was ever truly going to want in this life. It killed me being apart from her, being away from where I felt I belonged, being away from you and your mom and Willow and Xander and not being in this life, in this right with you anymore. The past few days had been a whirlwind, Buffy appears and it throws my whole world off balance... and so much has happened, too much time, too much hurt, missing out on so much, not being there when you all needed me the most and Buffy paying an ultimate price for that... and somehow getting a second chance at life and then things like Connor making me realize that not everything is how I expected it to be. And realizing maybe Buffy and I didn't have to be another one of those items on the never can be list either. Finding out that my soul isn't hanging in the balance was just that final push to fix this."

OoOoO

After everyone else had finally managed to turn in for the night and the house was more or less quiet, Buffy sat down at the edge of her bed and for the first time since Angel had showed up on her doorstep, she actually had a moment to herself to really try and piece together everything that was happening. What the world seemed to be offering her now. 

Angel showing up, confessing all that he had, telling her about his soul... all of that was shock and had been on her mind since but there hadn't exactly been a chance to play that revelation out as she had in an endless amount of dreams over since even learning about the whole clause and how life had changed since Angelus came out to play. No, it was a little hard to play out any of those fantasies about them being suddenly fixed and able to truly be together again, how she'd get lost in a daydream about them tangling up together in need that had lingered and burned between them for years, not caring where they were at the time... for any of that when you were in a busy household with friends and children roaming about. 

So... instead it had remained just a different kind of chaos inside of her. 

It was almost like an out of body experience as Willow had come home, as she'd fell back into caring after the baby, as Angel had gone off to help Dawn... how it all felt bizarre and yet perfectly normal, natural, at the same time. 

Angel had basically proposed to her... marriage, forever, the life she craved and never really thought was going to be managed with the cards they were dealt and she had still been trying to find normalcy in even seeing him again and whatever idea they were trying for about dating over the course of a few hours. Nothing could have prepared her for that. 

Hearing Angel bounding back up the stairs, shaking a bottle as he held Connor in his free hand, her eyes lifted to the door not long before he filled the entryway. The image of him here, here at the house, with her was enough to steal her breathe away. It had felt like it had been a lifetime since he was in these walls with her. 

Handing Connor down to her, Angel's face crinkled up as he asked her if she were okay. 

Letting out a slow breathe, Buffy smiled down at Connor as he took to his bottle, then looked back to Angel. "Is this real?" she couldn't help but ask out loud to him, more of a whisper than anything. 

"Which part exactly?"

"I don't know," she replied, her voice still soft. "Any of it? All of it? Am I in some sort of altered stated and imagining all of this? Have I just been imagining the past few days? I'm questioning how we got here... questioning if you are really here wanting to be with me... and that we can be together because that just feels a little too damn good to be true. Especially for us."

Angel easily crossed the room back to her, taking a seat and leaning closer to her. "I'm pretty sure I have had those doubts swirling around just as much as you, Buffy. The past few days all feel like a whirlwind and then Whistler showing up was a bomb going off and I just... I got as much confirmation as I could about what he told me and then I just.. I just left, I ran as fast as I could to you. I really haven't had much of a chance to let everything sink in and figure all of this out yet either. I just know what I needed to do right then and that was get to you."

Swallowing hard, Buffy looked back down at Connor. "And what about LA? Your life there?"

"What about it?" he shrugged. "My life is here. Anything else can be figured out."


	7. Chapter Seven

Once Connor was also added to the list of those snoring away in the Summers household, Angel felt another shift in the air around them. Desperation hit him with full force as Buffy started toward him, climbing back on to the bed to join him, his body leaning forward to meet her, his hands easing their way to her, helping guide her body to his so that she was straddled across his lap. 

Knowing there were no longer any supernatural boundaries between them was one hell of a high. On top of years of pining, on top of having lost the love of his life for what he thought had been forever, and then the miracle of her return and not being able to act on everything he'd felt inside of him at that news, at the first glimpse of her again, waking up beside her, inside her, that first glimpse of his son in her arms, to hearing her agree to be his again… all of it was suddenly hitting him at full force. 

Her fingers played idly with the buttons of shirt, after everything they had been through, after all these years, not once had she ever imagined being nervous when it came to him. They were good at getting lost in the throws of passion, obviously, but it was these quiet, private moments they had to work on. They had spent so much of their relationship avoiding this topic or that, allowing their silence to speak for them, 'But not anymore', she reminded herself. 

"What's wrong," she heard him ask softly. 

Her eyes slowly flickered to his dark brown orbs, "Did you really mean it? All those things you said earlier?".

Linking their fingers he let out a small sigh and sat up with her still wrapped safely around him as though she weighed nothing at all. "Of course I meant it Buffy, every word. I know I threw a lot at you, probably too much considering how fast all of this has happened, but one of the most important things I've learned since we've been a part is the importance of family, and the time you get to spend with them. Of all the times I've had to face losing you, when you died I really thought that was it, that all I would have to get through however many days I have left on this planet were the memories I had of us." Tightening his arms around her, he softly brushed his lips up against hers, "For weeks I just laid there replaying every moment, every conversation, I blamed myself for not being there, for being stuck in Pylea. I blamed myself for ever leaving you in the first place," he paused for a second just taking her in, brushing a stray strand of her hair back behind her ear he continued. "And then the anger came, the rage I experienced was unlike anything I'd ever felt before, I wanted to throw in the towel, I even considered taking a page from Angelus' book and sucking the whole world into hell. I figured if you weren't here, if you were really gone then it would only be a matter of time, I'd probably be doing everyone a favor by pushing things along." 

Her heart ached for him, she had no doubts that he hadn't taken the news of her dying well, but after, when they'd met up seemed to be doing okay considering. She whispered his name but he shook his head and continued, "It wasn't until I'd been in Tibet for a while that things started to settle, that I stopped willing death to find me and I started realizing that whatever time I had left, however many nights were ahead of me, that I had to do whatever I could to try even the score enough to make it where you were." Ignoring her look of confusion he continued, "Without you there was no reason for me to hope for Shanshu, not only did I not want it but I knew that eventually my carelessness would catch up to me, and that was what I held onto. You see here on Earth I realized that I was as close to you as I was ever going to get again. I didn't have you here physically, but all the places we'd been, everywhere that all those memories took place were still here, and I found peace in knowing that eventually after I'd made my peace, after I'd made sure that Cordy, Wes, and Gunn were safe, after I played my part that there would be an end for me, and for how much I missed you. 

Her hands having found their way around his neck scratched gently at the hairs on the bottom of his neck. She'd heard from her friends over and over again it seemed how her death had affected them and Dawn, but hearing it from Angel, well for possibly the first time since she'd been brought back she felt… grateful. Yes they had been split up for a long time, and while she had still been alive she'd tried to deny it, to herself even. The truth was though that her happiness, everything that made this life living worth living was wrapped up in him. No one had believed her, not even her mother though as time went on her mom had tried to mention him a time or two, but everything was just too far gone by that point. 

Touching her nose to his, she teased his lips for a few moments, pulling back every time he tried to deepen things. Her tormenting continued until he let out a low growl, his fingers biting into the soft flesh of her ass as he pulled her roughly against him. She had started to giggle but then his mouth was on her, devouring her, mirroring his words by silently showing her the truth behind them. 

Suddenly she felt herself almost floating through the air as he spun them, coming to settle above her just as her back landed on the warm blankets below. Her fingers began making quick work of the buttons she'd so innocently toyed with earlier. His lips abandoning her for just a second, he tugged her pajama top off her head before quickly picking up where he left off, leaving a hot trail down the smooth slope of her neck then down further to lavish her now aching peaks.

OoOoO

Helping her work his boxers off, he took a calming, though unneeded breath as he settled back against her. He felt her thighs squeeze as she tried wrapping her strong legs around him, he could feel the heat radiating from her core and it caused his cock twitch between them. Using one hand to hold his weight, the other slipped between them. 

She opened her mouth to protest, she was well passed ready for him but the words died on her lips when she felt his thick shaft teasing her folds. "Open your eyes." 

Obeying his command, her emerald depths fluttered open to meet his in the dark. Her beauty never ceased to amaze him but in that second he almost swore he felt his dead heart beat, "Always," he eventually managed just as he started inching inside her waiting depths. 

Pulling him closer, her head just barely nodded against him, "Always," she promised. 

OoOoO

He had wanted nothing more than to draw this out, to make it last, to turn into some marathon where he made love to her all night. But it was clear that his body simply wasn't going to cooperate with him. It had been too long, and they had come far too close too many times these last several days for his soul, mind, and certainly it was all too much for his body to handle any more self control at this point. Underneath him, Buffy's entire body seemed to squirm and wiggle against him, fingernails digging into his warmed flesh, soft whispers and cries falling from her lips as she moved against him seeking release.

Now knowing there was no invisible barrier to try and avoid with her, that there was no consequence awaiting them about Angelus springing up from these actions and a cure for the endless impending doom was one hell of a high. As was the rush of emotion that hit him as he thought of how fucking long they had really waited to be back together like this, as he thought of how badly he had missed her through these years apart, how broken he was when he thought she was really gone forever, how impossible it was to not run off with her when he saw her again after her miracle return and not give a damn what that would mean for him, her, or anyone else in that moment, and all of what the future could hold for them from now on. 

Buffy whined his name and he was thrown back into his memories of the last time they were like this together, truly anyhow, back to the night when she gave herself to him back in that small apartment, when it felt like nothing could possibly touch them as long as they loved each other. In all his many, endless years on this planet he had never felt anything like he did when it came to this tiny blonde slayer. He had never felt more wanted by anyone than he did when she looked at him, never more loved, never more heart broken over anything or anyone. 

That night had forever changed him... even before he felt his soul slowly starting to rip its way out of him and Angelus screaming happily as control fell into the demons' hands. Buffy telling him that she loved him, how she had kissed him like it was the only thing keeping her grounded to this world, how vulnerable and trusting she had been when it dawned on her what her insides were screaming at her that she wanted that night, with him... Their entire journey from the moment he even laid eyes on her or from their meeting in that alley way as she headed to The Bronze for the first time of many to come made sense as he held her, why he had suffered for over two hundred years seemed worth it to just be there, in those moments. Nothing else had mattered, what he had done in the past, what he was... it didn't matter. None of the evilness around him managed to stop this one magical being from loving him and how that made him feel was something he never thought he would even catch a glimpse of again. 

Even on their erased from history day... it had always felt wonderful, sure, he loved and hated the memories of that short time they also managed to have together, but at the same time if he were being honest... something about it had felt more like he was in a dream than reality, even as it was happening. It hadn't felt like this, not entirely.

But... here they were. Now. With a brand new beginning, a second chance...

"I need you," he whispered harshly against her neck, Buffy's legs wrapped around him tight enough to cause pain as he started to feel her teetering over the edge. "I need you for the rest of my fucking life."

Buffy's head moved, almost to a nod, unable to speak anymore in that moment. As a blinding white light overtook his vision, his body buckling into her, he found he could say or do anything more than ride it out with her.

OoOoO

Despite how confident he was in Whistler and how confident Whistler seemed to be that Angelus was nothing more than a thing of the past, Angel couldn't seem to help himself with the worry that flooded him in the middle of the night. Connor had fussed a little which woke him up in the first place but the little one seemed to simply soothe himself back to sleep while he'd slipped a new diaper on him and before he could go see about gathering up a bottle. 

At the first sign of anything feeling off, he was ready to handle it - or so he hoped, but it never seemed to come. He laid beside Buffy all night, drifting a few times between restless power naps and simply taking her and Connor and what could be in, knowing he had never felt more content, more likely to have one of those "perfect happiness" moments as he was right then... and nothing came. 

It remained quiet outside and throughout the dark house, Buffy snuggled closer to him, he eventually did have Connor wake up and wound up bringing him into the bed with them when the little one tired himself right back out. There was also no storm brewing inside of him, nothing jolting him awake or to be aware of something was wrong. 

A flood of relief came over him as sunlight started to show its face through tiny slots of the curtains. No sign of evilness brewing. Well, nothing more than you would expect in good ol' Sunnydale anyway.

OoOoO

As reality started seeping in, Buffy felt a rush of panic suddenly hit her and her whole body seemed to go rigid. She wanted to believe Angel last night, she wanted to believe that everything was different and they could finally have a life they wanted, she wanted to believe she wouldn't have to repeat some of the worst parts of her own personal history but any doubts she had done her best to bury came flooding up to the surface as morning came. 

Part of her wanted to jump up, search around, mentally preparing herself for the worst. Part of her also wanted to just keep her eyes closed and ignore it all. 

"I know you're awake," came Angel's deep voice, ruining her plans to do just that. 

With a deep breath and one last silent prayer to anyone who might be listening out there, she slowly opened her eyes... the vampire who stole her heart as a teenager propped up in the bed beside her, Connor just starting to wake his own self again it looked like in his arms. The sight at first made her uneasy, unsure of what morning truly was bringing her, but she knew Angelus well enough to know he wasn't the one behind those dark brown eyes as they locked with hers. 

"You're still here," she breathed out. 

"Were you expecting me to leave?" he asked.

"N-no, I just worried-"

Angel leaned closer, kissing her temple. "I know what you were expecting," he whispered, "And praying wouldn't be waiting for you when you woke up. But I think Whistler was right about this, there's some pretty good proof here with the two of you."

OoOoO

As much as she would have loved to stay holed up in bed with him all day, and as close as they had came to doing just that, Willow had eventually mustered up the courage to knock on her door after seeing Dawn off to school. With a crossbow in one hand and an orb of the thesula in the other it had been quite the sight, though Angel seemed less than amused muttering something or another about all of his friends waking him up with death threats. 

After ensuring her that Angel was in fact still Angel and promising her that there was nothing to worry about she'd finally let her guard down. Then basically threw her arms around Buffy practically squeezing her death as she whispered how happy she was for the two of them. Noticing Buffy was only clothed in Angel's shirt she'd offered to take Connor in order to give them a little more time together but the little one, not surprisingly, just wasn't having it. 

With a groan Angel carefully handed him over to Buffy once Will had made her way back out. "What," she grinned, climbing back beside him in the bed. "He missed me too," she brushed her nose back and forth across his tiny one, "Isn't that right Con?" 

Slipping an arm around her he pulled the two of them closer, "You know on second thought I'm not sure how I feel about this whole sharing you bit of business, especially not this soon," he added softly, his lips just barely touching her ear causing an all too familiar shiver to course through her. 

"Stop that," she teased, adjusting Connor so he was propped up against her thighs. He was starting to open his eyes a lot more in the last day or two, she'd heard that you couldn't tell a baby's eye color before they were at least a few months old, but she was already positive no matter the color he was going to have his Daddy's piercing stare for sure. 

OoOoO

With a lot of reluctance and a lot of insistence on Connors part, they both eventually managed to pull themselves from the comfort of her room. It was no surprise to Angel that he was once again completely and utterly attached to Buffy, not allowing her to put him down even for a minute. He loved his son, but man was the newborn giving his ego one hell of a beating, though he supposed he should be grateful for the few hours he granted the two of them this morning, even if there was no way it would ever be enough. 

While Buffy was busy feeding Connor he took the time to call back home, well to L.A. anyways. Cordy as he expected practically started screeching so loud he was almost sure he'd have permanent hearing damage. It had taken nearly a whole five minutes before she'd quietened enough for him to even explain what happened, how Whistler had appeared, and the news he brought. Of course that caused a whole new round of high pitched noises to come pouring through the phone. 

It took a while but eventually he made his rounds speaking with all of his gang, promising them that no, there definitely was no chance Whistler had been wrong, and no, they wouldn't be out of a job. Earlier he and Buffy had revisited the topic of him just up and moving back to Sunnydale, she'd told him that as much as she would absolutely love having him and Connor her one hundred percent of the time it just wasn't realistic. 

Not with all of the souls she insisted still needed saving there, ya she used his own words against him, but she promised that they could make living between the two cities work. Both of them knew it would take some getting used too, but if anyone could make it work it was the two of them. They figured on days were it was quiet in Los Angeles they could spend them in Sunnydale and vice versa. Of course inevitability that would mean they would have to spend some time apart, unfortunately apocalypses didn't always coordinate, but it was what they had to deal with, for now. 

OoOoO

By the time the sun was setting, Buffy was seriously regretting the fact that she'd insisted they stay in Sunnydale for the next couple of days at least. Between Connor, the gang, Dawn, and a lengthy conversation with Giles she was more than ready to hightail it back to the hotel. They meant well, and she knew that, she really really did, but right now all she wanted to do was lock herself away with her new again beau and spend a while just losing track of time. 

She could tell Angel was getting antsy too, especially after Xander and Anya's little drop in. Sometimes she wondered if those two would ever get past their issues and become friends, he'd somehow managed to tame Cordelia so there was always hope. So when Angel had cornered her in the kitchen softly whispering sweet nothings into her ear before suggesting they head to the mansion once the sunset, well she couldn't think of a single objection. 

She hadn't known for sure, but she had always wondered if had somehow kept the place maintained. On more than one occasion she'd found herself hiking up that old hill, sometimes it was after a hunt had led her in its direction, sometimes it was just because she missed him. Either way, for a place that was supposed to have been abandoned it always seemed just a bit too clean. 

OoOoO

The mansion sure did seem a lot closer getting there by car. Luckily the short ride seemed to be just what Connor needed too, he was fast asleep by the time they pulled up. Not even bothering to take him from his car seat, Angel simply set him close enough to fire, which was oddly already lit, before pulling her to him and blindly making his way over to the old sectional they'd spent so many nights on. 

She wanted to ask him again all of this was even possible, not just the obvious, but the fire, the lack of dust sheets, at first glance it was almost like no time had passed. The questions were on the tip of her tongue, but all of her thoughts seemed to vanish as he pulled her fully on top of him. Almost instantly his lips found their way to his mark, the mark he'd given her very near the spot they were currently at. Grinding against him, she relished in the feel of his hard length pulsing between them. 

"I need you," he whispered roughly, pulling at her sweater until he finally ridded her of the offending garment. Too many times this afternoon he'd tried to pull her away to the confines of her room only to be interrupted by Connor, or Dawn, or one of their damn phones ringing. The one time he'd finally succeeded, fucking Harris had shown up just as his mouth found his way to her hot center and he was about ready to kill the damn boy. Word had obviously gotten around and he pretty much expected to see what felt like everyone he had ever known in his time here and the endless string of phone calls from those who couldn't simply drop in at the Summers' house but all the same he wished they'd use a little insight into the fact they had been waiting for some miracle chance like this to come along and it didn't take much to know what they would rather be doing quite honestly. 

Buffy slipped off her lacy bra and tossed it down to the ground as well, mere seconds before his palms were cupping her breasts, making her moan and press deeper into his touch. 

"God, I missed you," Buffy breathed, her eyes only half opened, reading his damn mind. It felt like a lifetime since they had been here together. He left unsure if he would ever be able to return for a multitude of reasonings but it had been too much for him to let it all completely go...he had kept holding on to that tiny spark of hope that maybe someday, somehow... and even if it never came to pass he still never thought he would be able to say goodbye to everything Sunnydale had held for him in his time here. 

Angel muttered some noise of agreement, taking every inch of her in as he continued slowly undressing her, his eyes not hiding his hunger for her one bit. He'd had his fair share of lovers even before his secondary life as a member of the undead had come to pass but no matter who he had been with before or the few since, no one had ever been able to compare to Buffy. As far as he was concerned she was perfection and nothing would ever convince him otherwise.

Quickly craning his neck to make sure Connor was alright, Angel's attention turned back to Buffy and making sure she knew exactly how much he had missed her, how badly he needed to have this life with her if she would allow him to finally give it all to her. 

OoOoO

In their agreed upon time in Sunnydale, at least for the time being, Buffy had found herself easing back into being considered as Angel's more than she supposed she expected. Of course there was awkwardness and moments where she still remained shocked to see him right beside her, but as they made strides to figure out how their schedules could work for these back and forth visits as much as they could manage, as they fell into routine with Dawn and with Connor, back to being a group of friends navigating around the Hellmouth, back to patrolling together... with less demon watching now days as it was a lot more interesting to recreate their make out sessions strolling through graveyard after graveyard, 

So when the time rolled around for another round of goodbyes it was absolutely too soon, but Buffy knew it always would be. Saying goodbye after an hour, a handful of days, ten years... it didn't matter. She knew this was how it needed to be and they would make it work but that didn't mean being away from him wasn't going to be hard or that it wouldn't hurt, that she wouldn't be a blubbering mess as she promised him it would be okay, that she would be okay. 

OoOoO

As Angel finally started away from Buffy's, three hours later than he had planned on heading out, he felt tingles of nerves about the idea of leaving Connor but after the phone calls he'd gotten from both Cordelia and Wes just a bit ago he and Buffy couldn't help but feel like maybe it would be best to try this out, Lord knew Connor would throw a fit leaving her and if things were getting as hairy as they made it out to be back at the hotel he would rather know his son was safe and he could just go in and handle this shit. 

He still felt nervous about it and had agreed to return even the following night if it wound up possible. Leaving Buffy was hard enough, but he figured these were just some things he needed to get used to. In time it would be second nature this back and forth he hoped, bidding farewell to one another wouldn't feel like the end of the world. 

As he drove across town his attitude sure did improve though, in a sense. An evil grin took over his face as he got closer to where he'd been informed good ol' Spike was holding up these days. Surely the team could hold things down long enough for him to handle one last bit of business in Sunnydale first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have been so surprised at the response this story has recieved so far. I know that we are pretty well known for our long drawn out works but this particular fic was started as a distraction from all those others when we got a touch of writer's block, and this was the ending we kind of always had in mind. 
> 
> Regardless we hope you still love it, even if it didn't morph into something more like some of you were hoping <3


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